My Food is Safe

You know how with a lot of families parents go to great amounts of trouble making special meals for their picky children?  Well, our family's not like that at all.  Nope.  Dave and the boys are easy and they'll all eat pretty much the same thing.  I'm the one who's the problem child. 

I'm always eliminating certain things from my diet, deciding I'll only eat this type of thing, and it always has to be prepared in a very particular way.  Oh, and it's a moving target.  They never know what is on my "yes" or "no" list on which day.

But, there's a big perk to this, I tell ya.  My food is totally safe.  Safe from midnight snackers and such, that is.  No one ever eats my leftover veggie sandwich that's covered in jalepeños.  No one is the slightest bit tempted by my odd flavors of yogurt.  And no one ever, ever, ever even considers taking a nibble out of my bags of chia, hemp, or acai berries. 

Being weird definitely has its perks.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Feeling Fruity

I go a little nuts, a little crazy, a little paranoid from time to time, it's true.  But only a little...you know, that "healthy" amount.  And it's about organic fruit, so how bad can it be?

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that there's a conspiracy afoot.  Perhaps hidden cameras in my home.  Or, gosh, a tracker in my car.  You see, I've noticed a shocking trend.  It seems every time I go to Costco and spend a ridiculous amount of money on fresh fruit, teenagers from far and near call my kid to set up an overnight.  My theory?  They're on to the recent purchase...they know there's ready-to-eat-already-washed fruit in our fridge.

Now, as a rule we always say "yes" to sleep overs.  But then I'd go into "protect the fruit" mode.  And as these teenagers are all boys, and all boys seem to lack the ability to look behind anything in the fridge, I'd just do things like stick the bowl of lovely strawberries behind the bag of dried figs...tuck the blueberries behind the bag of bagels...stick the raspberries in the drawer under the bag of bell peppers.  Wallah!  Yo, no fruit in da fridge!

Course the family convinced me that I'd crossed over into the world of being totally fruit loops, so now I set up a small edible batch of fruit, front and center, that I'm willing to sacrifice to the world of teenage boys.

Yeah, I'm a giver.

This painting is available for purchase at:  Feeling Fruity

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