Too Old?

I keep wondering when "too old" is going to kick in.  And I'm not talking about me.  Guess I could be, but I'm not.  Anyway, my little guy, who is now fourteen, is still totally into both Halloween trick-or-treating and Easter egg hunting. 

Every year I ask, "Are you going trick-or-treating/hunting?"

And he says, "Duh, yeah!"  OK the "duh" is less and less utilized in the last couple of years, but before that it was standard issue response.  Hmmmm...guess that means I might have moved beyond being a "dumb" parent.  I will celebrate quietly, I assure you.

Given that today was Easter and we were going to a family egg hunt, the question came up again.


Me:  "Are you going to hunt for eggs today?"

Little guy:  "Uh, yeah!"  See that?  The "duh" has been replaced by "uh".  YAY!!  See?  Celebrating quietly.

Me:  "When do you think you'll stop doing the egg hunting?"

Little guy:  "I dunno, why would I?"

Me:  "I dunno."

Little guy:  "Mom, there's candy."


So there my little guy went a'hunting, he and the two two-year-olds and the four-year-old.  Did my guy feel out of place?  Absolutely not.  Duh...

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The Easter Bunny Blues

Dave and I went to the mall tonight...decidedly not my favorite place to go.  We went to one store to pick up something that wasn't there that they told us was, then we went to the Apple Store where Dave said, "Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa" (insert the teacher voice from Charlie Brown here).  Anything and everything was above my head and yes, I got that glazed look in my eyes, and yes, he noticed.

But the trip to the mall was totally worth it because on our way out guess who was there?!?!  THE EASTER BUNNY!!!  Surrounded by 3-D flowers and ladybugs no less.  Awesome!!  We stopped for a second and looked at a kid having her photo taken.  She was about nine months-ish and very happily smiled at the camera.  OK, I admit it, I was sorta disappointed.


Dave:  "Let's go."

Me:  "No, I want to wait until the bunny makes a kid cry."  You know, you've seen all the infamous photos, right?


Next a boy who was about four and his little sister who was about a year old got on the Easter Bunny's lap.  The boy got on first, all frowns and malcontent, totally looking like a future mug shot.  I was getting excited!!!!  Next the little girl got on the Bunny's lap.  Her lip quivered, her mouth opened agape, and she emitted a silent scream.  Oh, my goodness, she was adorable, and, you got it, I was absolutely, positively, embarrassingly giddy!

So there ya go, the big reveal.  That's the real me coming out...a true meanie.


P.S.  You all know I'm full of sarcasm, right? And I bet ya, that photo will absolutely, positively go viral when her parents post it.

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Dang, those southern regions sure do cause a ruckus sometimes!

Warning to all you male types:  Read on at your own risk.  Don't say I didn't tell ya.


Some days just don't go as planned.  This, my friends, was one of them.

By noon I thought I had my blog all planned out.  Good stuff...funny stuff...slightly disturbing stuff....


• Woke up with the bladder infection I'd been treating for two days with a home remedy.  Boo!

• Called doctor's office at 7:30 and got a 9:00 appointment time.  Yay!

• Went to appointment with an insufferably full bladder and was allowed straight to the back to give them a sample.  Yay!  (And a little Boo, I supppose.)

• Opened the little door where the sample goes and, ack, there was already another sample in there....dead center...right against the door I had opened.  I had to get a paper towel to shove it back veeeeeeery slowly.  This girl did not want a splashed-all-over-other-person's pee incident.  Boo!

• I was called to go to my appointment before my appointment.  Yay!

• I had my normal odd conversation with my also normally odd doctor...seriously, if you take a step back it's like being in some alternate universe comedy club where the doctor simply says everything on his mind.  I really like the guy!  Yay!

• Took my prescription to Target, dropped it off, and was told it would be about fifteen minutes.  Time was on my side this morning, people!  Yay!

• While I was waiting for the prescription to be prepared I did a little shopping.  Cat food...check!  Chocolate bunnies for the boys...check!  Panties for me...check!  Yay!

• Only thing...when I was looking through the panties bin I felt the presence of someone.  I looked to my side and standing about five feet from me was a man just staring at me holding said panties.  I matched his gaze with my best "What the heck are you looking at?" face and it took him about ten seconds to realize that he'd been caught.  OK, serious EW!!!  Boo!

• I went back for my prescription and got outa there.  I took my first pill in the car (no "take with food" required) and prepared to be healed.  Yay!

• On the way I stopped by the art store and picked up a brand spankin' new set of pens.  This gets a Yay, Yay, Yay!!!!


OK, so that was to be the subject of my good/funny/disturbing blog post.


But...about thirty minutes after I got home my lower legs started aching.  Kind of like a mild Charlie horse and shin splints combo plate.  I stretched them and it eased them up.  Then...my stomach started cramping something terrible.  I went to my room, put my jammies on, got in bed, and planned to sleep off whatever this was.  I dozed in and out, I think I did, anyway, and suddenly my lower back was in absolute agony.  I swear it felt just like the back labor I had with my big guy.  I tried popping it and it went from agony to "kill me now!"  I did a quick Google on my phone, found out that I was suffering side effects that a small percentage of patients do.  I gasped, held back tears, and phoned my little guy who was the only one home.  He came in, got the prescription receipts and read the details.  My symptoms were on the "Call Doctor Immediately" list.  I called, I described, they agreed that I should stop taking the meds, and the nurse called in a different prescription for me.

Now, here's the wonderful thing.  For about two hours my little guy lay beside me on my bed.  He checked on me, entertained me, brought me a big pot because I felt like throwing up, and then even called the doctor's office himself after I started crying because I had to know how much longer this would last.   Seriously, I have not been in this kind of pain in a very long time (and last time at least I got a beautiful baby out of it).  He was amazing! 

My little guy found out from the nurse that if I drink water the symptoms would go away faster.  Side note, having to drink lots of water when you're stuck lying prone and you have a bladder infection...not a good combo.  He ran and got me a straw and we worked it out.

By golly, about fifteen minutes later my symptoms started slowly going away.  YAY!!!

As I sit here (yes, I can now sit) six hours after the onset, my only symptoms are slightly achy legs and lower spine, dizziness, just a bit of nausea, and a fever.  We seriously exorcised that demon!


P.S. Dave and my big guy were great, too.  They were out running errands and picked up my new prescription (please let it be kind to me) and were very lovingly concerned.  I love my family!!!!

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It's all in the Gettin' There

Today my kid got to play in an orchestra competition event just a few miles north of his school.  Did he have to take a big yellow bus to get there?  No, he did not.  That kid, and the rest of the musicians, got to ride in a high falootin' fancy travel bus...one with a bathroom, TVs, and a luggage area underneath.


Me:  "You know, when I was a kid heading to an orchestra event I had to ride an unairconditioned school bus with my french horn on my lap."

Little guy:  "Aw, that's so sad...I mean, HA, HA, HA, HA!!"


Thinking I'm going to spend the weekend coming up with oodle gobs of "back when I was a kid I had to walk miles in the snow" stories to inflict on him.

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Sock it to Me

Last night Dave and my king size bed was the site of a gathering.  Big guy, little guy, and our cat, Pug, and I.  As it was bed time I was all happy and jammied up...all the way down to my fuzzy white-ish socks.

Well, as I was a bit bored AND very easily entertained, I pulled one of my socks off and carefully placed it on Pug's tale.  Mind you, it wasn't on top of his tail, his tail was all the way down inside of it.  We sat...we waited...we made predictions.


Big guy:  "I think he's gonna just slide right out of it."

Little guy:  "Yeah, slide right out."

Me:  "No way, when that sock comes off it's gonna fly through the air."  After all, my cat has shown his flamboyant Liberace style on occasion.  Why not now?


We sat...we waited...we sighed...we stopped each other when we were tempted to "poke the Pug" to get him to do something.  T...E...N minutes went by and not even a tiny tail twitch from the furry fella.

We grew restless, started talking amongst ourselves, and then suddenly, Pug slithered away.  That darn sock didn't move, not even one millimeter!

Dang, I was really looking forward to a flying sock show.  Well, that and being "right" of course.


About this painting:  this is another in my "blob" series.  Loving doing these!!

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The Cone of Terror...

...or the cone of deliciousness...it's all in how you see it, I suppose.

Unfortunately our two dogs got in a terrible, mere seconds fight which resulted in our older dog, Scout, needing surgery.  So, that left us wondering, "What do we do?  What do we do?"

Well, of course we kept them separated until Scout was up and moving and when we finally decided to let them be together, we found out something quite interesting that we would not have predicted.  You see, Scout has been sentenced to wear one of those cone things to keep her from licking her surgical site.  Turns out those silly cones have two pretty darn amazing purposes.

1. Hazel is keeping her distance from Scout because the cone totally freaks her out.  If the cone is heading her way, she's off in the other direction, STAT.

2. Scout has managed to be a messy eater with the cone on and has been enjoying the fruits of her messiness with frequent leftover snacks available on the interior of the cone.

So, I must say we're pretty much loving the cone of shame 'round these parts.  Might just have to keep it around.

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Green is the Color

"Why is everything good for you have to be green?!?!" he said with great disgust as I spread guacamole on a slice of sprouted bread and sprinkled beet greens over the top...for him...that he asked me to make.

The big guy has a point.  I mean it is rather unfortunate that so many of the veggies do come in that dark shade of green that kids seem to always want to run in the opposite direction of.

Well, I figure I'll check back in about an hour and see if he's managed to choke it down.  Maybe, just maybe, he's turning over a new...um...er...leaf.  Sorry, couldn't help myself.


P.S. Only half the sandwich made it down his teenage gullet.  What did he have to say about said sandwich?  "It was just, um, wrong."

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