Monday, June 30, 2014

Let the Mystery Be

Our kitten, Tommy, is obsessed.  He's always obsessed with something, but this obsession is lasting longer than the usual obsession.  Here's what he does.

Each and every day for a while now, when he's let out he stops just outside the back door and stares downward.  He sits there.  He sleeps there.  And he rarely ever leaves that spot except to go potty or hunt a bit.

Now there must be something down below the decking slats.  There must be, right?  But we have heard nothing, seen nothing, and are utterly and completely unwilling to unscrew the decking planks to solve this mystery.

Tommy will just have to let the mystery be.  Good thing patience is his super power.

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Sunday, June 29, 2014

Why Buy it When you can Make it for Free?

No, this isn't a blog post about being crafty.  Not even close.

Nope.  it's about my kid coming to me today wanting to order something off of Amazon.


Little guy:  "Can you order this to me?  I'll pay for it."

He shows me a web page with something called a "fart bomb".

Me:  "Why do you want this.  You can fart on your own and make those noises."

Little guy:  "It's not a noise thing, it's a smell thing."

Me:  "You can fart on your own and make those smells."

Little guy:  "It's not the same.  And I could just throw one in my room when my friends are in there and hold the door closed."

Me:  "Oh, so you want me to buy something that will stink up my house and is also something that you can make with your own body for free?"

Little guy:  "Yeah, it'll be awesome...and I'll pay for it."


Somehow I suspect that I'd end up paying for it in some way or another.


Me:  "I love you stinky...but no!"

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Saturday, June 28, 2014

Matchy Matchy

This morning the little guy and I were in line at the grocery store.  We were behind a friendly guy.  A really friendly guy.  The kind of guy that goes on ahead and yammers it up with the customers behind him.  My kind of guy!

So we yammered on and on...and then I noticed something.  That friendly guy had on the exact same pair of shoes I'd bought for my little guy two days ago and my little guy was wearing them.  And that guy had on a gray shirt, just like my little guy had on.


Me:  "Hey, you guys are matchy matchy today!"

Friendly guy:  "Well, look at that."

Little guy:  "Oh, yeah."

Friendly guy:  "We called each other this morning."


And then the friendly guy left.


Little guy:  "Wow, he was sure friendly."

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Friday, June 27, 2014

Trail Bliss

It was a big day in the life of our dog, Hazel.  Now this may not seem like any big deal, but let me tell you where we started.

When Hazel was a wee pup she had a few phobias.  You know, scary stuff like a leaf blowing by, a trash bin being rolled, her metal dish being set on the floor.  Ya, scary!

I've been taking her to the hike and bike trails right near our house because I love going there so much and what would be better than being accompanied by this girl, right?  We started a couple of weeks ago and it was TERRIFYING!  Bicyclists would pass and clearly they were just about to take a big chomp outa Hazel's leg.  A runner would pass by us and Hazel was quite sure they were going to go for her jugular.  A dog would hurry past and it was just so obvious that they had rabies or some other reason to viciously attack.

Well, give up we didn't.  We pushed right on through those fears and today...drum roll...Hazel finally realized that there were no predators and she most certainly was not prey.

...and she even drank out of an unfamiliar dog water dish.  This is big stuff, people, and this mama is feelin' happy and proud.

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Thursday, June 26, 2014

Sweet Dreams

I've been taking a wonderful year-long online class, Dancing with your Dreams. I completed this piece just this afternoon and soon it will find its home over our bed.

It's layer upon delightful layer...colors, symbols, fun, whimsy, and love. 

Ooh, and it's my biggest canvas to date, 24" x 30", not counting our hallway, of course. Hmmmm...I don't know if bigger is better, but it sure is fun!  Come on by and visit me and my paintings!!

Sweet dreams!

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50% off of everything in my Daily Paintworks shop through the end of the month.  
Email me the one(s) you want and I'll adjust the price.  Thanks!!!  kalilparsons@gmail.com
 
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Wednesday, June 25, 2014

California Dreaming

I happened to notice that today is the five year anniversary of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett's deaths.  As sad and shocking as that day was, it was also a day when one of my most favorite memories was created.

My boys and I were somewhere between Austin, TX and San Jose, CA at a Holiday Inn Express on a road trip to my brother's house.  We'd tossed our stuff in the room and headed straight to the pool.

Now, I'd noticed all the Harleys parked out front, but had no idea that the whole biker gang had also tossed their stuff in their room and headed straight to the pool.  My then fourteen and ten year old sons and I just considered this to be yet another fabulous adventure on our second voyage out west.  We jumped right in and had some amazing conversations with the most oddly tanned people I've ever encountered.  Seriously, riding a motorcycle  for hundreds of miles with only a bandanna upon your head leaves you with quite a funny forehead tan.

They were all fabulously delightful...and the best part, at least for me, was the biker dude who insisted upon serenading me with Dionne Warwick's "Do you Know the way to San Jose?" over and over and over again.  I was in biker babe heaven!

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50% off of everything in my Daily Paintworks shop through the end of the month.  
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Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Come on in...the Water's Fine

And this is why I should always bring a friend for my kid when we go swimming.


Me:  "Is it cold?"

Little guy:  "It's fine, mom.  You'll get used to it."


I go down one step.  It's not even close to being fine.


Me:  "It is cold."

Little guy:  "You're a wimp."


I go down one more step.


Little guy:  "Jump in, mom."

Me:  "I know, I really should."


He gets out of the pool and checks his phone.


Me:  "Did you get a call?"

Little guy:  "Nope."


AND HE PUSHES ME IN!!!!


Me:  "Oh, this is nice!"

Little guy:  "You're welcome."

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Monday, June 23, 2014

An Unexpected Overnight Guest

I woke up this morning and discovered that we had a most delightful unexpected overnight guest.  Right by our front door sat a toad.  An adorable, lumpy, clearly missing the great outdoors as he was staring at the door, toad.

And right beside this toad was our kitten, seemingly just as puzzled by our wee little guest as I.

I picked that sweet little fella up, opened the door a crack, and set him outside.  Our kitten looked at me, looked at the toad, and then looked back at me as if saying, "Them's not good eatin', mama." I'm quite sure he at least gave that little toad a taste test lick.

Come back for an overnight any time, little fella!

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Sunday, June 22, 2014

The Best Nap Ever!

I had the best nap ever today!  Seriously, it's one of those naps that will go down in my history book as the best nap I've ever had.  I was concerned that I'd go about the rest of the day, heck, the rest of my life like that girl in "American Pie" who went on and on about "that time at band camp" if I didn't just get it down on paper screen.

So here's the scoop.  (Because I know you want to know.)  The nap rocked.  It wasn't just one of my regular fifteen to twenty minute catnaps.  Nope.  It as a glorious two-and-a-half hour, solid, blissful snooze.  And here's why I think it happened.  I didn't just crawl into bed with all my clothes on ('cept shoes, of course).  I changed back into my PJs.  My mind, body, and soul knew that this girl was committed.  And so did my old cat, Pug, my young dog, Hazel, and my old dog, Scout...because by the time I woke up, Pug was nestled in by my face with my arm around him, Hazel was at the foot of the bed snoring, and Scout was asleep on the floor as close to the bed as she could get. 

And the cherry on top?  I woke up rested, not zombified.  And with a teeny, tiny flower on my sheets that had fallen off of Pug.

OK, I might just have to tell you in person about my best nap ever...because it was just so awesome.  Feel free to point somewhere behind me whilst saying, "Look!", and run far, far away from me if I bring it up.  I promise I'll understand.

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Saturday, June 21, 2014

Downward Flow

OK, heads up, this blog post is kind of nasty.  Not inappropriate nasty or anything like that.  Just nasty.  That's all.

The little guy and I were at the store today.  I happened to see a display of those amazing little pies they used to sell in the 70s.  The ones with the pastry outside and the awesome chocolate pudding ones were my favorite.  And there was one right there.

Being the great, health conscious mom I am, I insisted that I get one for my kid.  He didn't argue with me.

Once in the car he tore the package open, took a bite and said, "Hmmmm, there wasn't any chocolate in that bite.

Me:  "Take another bite.  You're gonna love it!"  And he bit it.

Little guy:  "This is not good mom."

Me:  "What?!?!"  I looked at the pudding insides of that tasty treat and I swear it must've been on that shelf since the 70s.

He rolled down his window and spit the chewed up bite out.  Now, my kid is amazing at so many things.  He's an amazing athlete, can ride a unicycle like it's nothin', can design and shoot spectacular rockets, but the kid cannot spit any distance to save his life.  So...yup...that chewed up bite went straight down instead of forward and landed on my car door...and proceeded to ever so slowly ooze its way down, down, down.

Me:  "That's going to be really disgusting if it flies off of my car and hits another one."

Little guy beaming:  "They'll just think it was a really big bird."

I love how he can take something that tasted horrible and make it something positive in his eyes.

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Friday, June 20, 2014

Funny Things my Husband Says

Yes, it's another edition of "Funny Things my Husband Says"!

He's the gardener 'round these parts.  Me?  I just tend to kill plants.  I don't mean to...it just happens.  Anyway, he planted just one tomato plant this year and surrounded it with some sort of lovely flowers.  Well, that tomato plant went and grew HUGE!  It towered up, up, up over its wire cage and even grew through the netting Dave placed over it to help keep the varmints away.

And there it stands, looking all proud and fabulous, until the wind picks up.  When we get strong gusts that huge tomato plant decides it's a great time for a nap and it lays right down.

So...Dave's solution?

"I need to make a proper propper for that plant!"

Yup, he's awesome!

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Thursday, June 19, 2014

Polly Want a Kiss?

I heard on the radio not long ago that there was an increase in salmonella poisoning.  And do you know who were the most likely to be coming down with it?  Chicken owners.  And do you know why there were coming down with it?  They had been kissing their chickens!

Now when I heard this I thought, "That is so freakin' weird!!! Icky, bleck, patooey!"

Of course you know that I own chickens, right?


Well, I have to confess something.  The last few times I've been holding my chickens and looking into their sweet little glassy eyes, I've felt the urge to kiss them on their little feathery cheeks.  What has come over me?!?!

So I've officially started a new trend.  Air kissing chickens.

Mwah!

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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Love in da House

One of my favorite things about summer is that I'm around to see so much more.  And one super sweet moment just happened.  Tommy, our kitten cuten was asleep on our bed.  Hazel, our 85 pounds of pure love dog was, too.  My little guy came in, carefully picked up Tommy and lay him atop Hazel, and then leaned into them giving them both a big hug.

Little guy:  "So much adorable packed into one hug!"

Love!

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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Three Years of Creating

It was three years ago today that I began this adventure in creating.  I'd come off of a particularly challenging school year...and by challenging, I don't mean bad.  By challenging I mean filled with many, many opportunities for learning and growth.  I had been so focused on my role as teacher that as summer started and I should have felt relief, instead I only felt lost, unable to find myself again.

So one day I just started creating.  And I haven't stopped.  And I'm forever grateful for that challenging year.  What a gift it was!

Thanks for going along with me on this wonderful journey of mine.


P.S. When I created this door painting I was thinking of how when one door closes and another opens, which door we choose when we have an opportunity, and whatnot.  But then I realized that I'm not all that deep, after all.  I just happened to be listening when the creative bubble rose up in me. 

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Monday, June 16, 2014

"Nice Pins"

I'm really far away from being hip.  Really, really, really far.  And while I do my best to stay on top of slang (I'm only about three years behind right now), my kids...and now a stranger...have taught me that I'm pretty much clueless.

The other day I was out walking my dog up the biggest, steepest hill in our neighborhood.  It is big.  And it is steep.  And I LOVE it!  I was about half way up when I passed a large truck with a number of men circulating around it.  They looked as though they'd just finished doing construction or landscaping or some such thing and were getting ready to leave.


Me:  "Hello."

Guy #1:  "Beautiful dog."

Me:  "Thanks!"

Guy #2:  "This hill is a good workout, eh."

Me:  "Yup, and I love it!"

Guy #3 with a British accent:  "Nice pins!"


And I said nothing.  Now, in my defense, by this time I was about ten feet past them and maybe, maybe he thought I didn't hear him.  Maybe.  But really I had no idea what "nice pins" meant and I surely didn't want to say "thank you" if he'd been all icky and inappropriate, right?

By the time I topped that hill I had my iPhone out and was googling the slang definition for "nice pins" and it turned out the dude was being nice, after all.  You likely know, but in case you don't, "nice pins" means "nice legs".  How he figured I had nice legs when I was wearing my super baggy longish short overalls that were totally smeared with paint, I don't know.  But it was lovely of him to make the assumption based on what little he could see.

So, wherever you are, British accent guy, thank you!

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Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy Father's Day!

About a month ago I received an email from my agent.  It was for a possible spot in a Father's Day tribute.  All I had to do was send in a digital copy of my headshot...and write a short essay about my dad and what the word "father" meant to me.  Hey, I had a headshot, and hey, I love to write, so send it in I did.  And I was selected!

So early one morning I went to the filming studio, had my hair, make-up, and my wardrobe all done.  Then I went on the set which was basically just a white floor and background, and a stool.  There I sat talking with the director, telling him all sorts of stories about my dad.  I laughed.  I cried.  I loved it.

Here's a link to it on YouTube.  Kali in a Father's Day Video  I'm at 1:10 and 2:02.

Happy Father's Day!

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Saturday, June 14, 2014

My Hallway Mural is Finished!

Yup, I finished it. 

The family has been so great.  Dave thinks it's awesome.  My little guy thinks it's a bit "kiddish" and that I "should have started it a few years ago," but he also thinks it's pretty darn neat.  My big guy says, "That's really cool, mom."  And his girlfriend, the only other human girl that hangs out at my house these days says, "I love the cat.  It's my favorite part."

So there ya go!  The reviews are in.  And I'm giving myself five stars...see 'em?  They're right there at the top.

Oh, and when the light is low, the owls and stars appear to glow.  And now I think I need a black light!

Stop by any time.  The mural loves visitors.


P.S. The actual mural is more of a square shape.  My wonderful husband took a bunch of photos of its parts and seamed them together to create this image.  Thanks, Dave!!!!

 


 This is my Hallway Project.
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Friday, June 13, 2014

Boo Boo Fixing Super Powers

I'm convinced that our roles as parents are set really early in our children's lives.


If they wanted to be tossed high into the air...talk to dad.

If they wanted a snack...talk to mom.

If they wanted to build something with power tools (not counting my awesome sewing machine)...talk to dad.

If they had a boo boo...talk to mom.


And while I've pretty much managed to shake the whole "talk to mom" if they're hungry, I still haven't shaken the boo boos.  Not that I want to, mind you.


Last night I had to be away from home overnight and at about 1:00 AM I ended up engaging in a long texting conversationwith my little guy who was having some undesirable symptoms.  Mind you, his dad was there in the house sleeping, less than thirty feet away.  I was all the way across town.  But contact me, he did.

And even though I'm pretty darn exhausted today after having taken the kid to the doctor and then to the pharmacy, I'm happy that I've maintained my boo boo fixing super powers.


Upon arriving at home...

Little guy:  "Mom, I'm hungry."

Yup, still working on shaking that one...but not working terribly hard.

This is part of my Hallway Project.
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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Who dunnit?

My big guy is outa here for about three weeks.  I look at this as an amazing opportunity for my little guy to shine.  Bet you're thinking I'm talking about how he'll have the chance to get all the adult time, energy, and love.  Well, he'll get that, too, of course.  But what I'm talking about is this.


He'll have the chance to prove the following, leaving us no choice but to solely blame his brother:

- he always flushes after using the toilet.

- he consistently turns lights off when he leaves rooms.

- he never leaves dishes strewn about the living room.


Let the absolutely, positively, loving mom data collection begin.

This is part of my Hallway Project.
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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

The Inspection

Feeling like a rock star!

I actually got my car inspected the very month it was due, early in the month, no less!  I didn't really have any anxiety about it not passing, but every time I have to have this done, old anxiety memories tickle at the edges of my mind.

My first car, and likely my favorite car ever, a bright orange standard Renault LeCar, had an emergency brake lever that was basically there simply for moral support...just there to look good, essentially.  A reason to fail the inspection for sure.

But happily back then inspectors always seemed to need car owner's support during the process.  I'd sit in the car doing the horn and lights as guided, and when it was time for the emergency brake test...well, I'd pull the lever up, stick my foot out the door, press it to the ground, and do my darndest to keep the car from rolling as the inspector gave it a nudge from the rear. 

And it worked!  Year after year it worked!!

And my 47 year old self is happily patting my teenage self on the back for such amazing brilliance.

This is part of my Hallway Project.
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Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Summertime!

OK, I'm feeling the life of luxury coming over me.  I just wrote my summer "to do" list and there are only six things on it!  Now, I didn't put anything on there that I'd normally do anyway, no, just the things that are out of the ordinary that I must take care of.  You know, things like my annual physical (sorry, TMI), getting my car inspected, and getting the kid a passport.  So my plan is to get all six things done by early July so I can settle in to my unscheduled life of hanging out at the pool, laundry, hikes, dishes, playing with friends, and housecleaning. 

Bliss....

I love summer....

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Monday, June 9, 2014

Feelin' Sassy

I got my hair cut short today.  First time in about eight years...maybe more.  And I'm lovin' it!  I had only one extremely brief flutter of the heart when I saw the heap (and I do mean heap, this girl had big Texas hair, after all) of blond locks on the floor.  But then I was feeling fine-n-sassy.

I stopped by two of my favorite lady friends' homes on the way to my house to make sure my feelings of sassiness were warranted.  And, yes, they were warranted.


As I pulled into the driveway I wondered:

-Would my kids still recognize me?
-Will my husband still love me?
-Will I look just as sassy in my own mirror.

Yup, yup, yup!  My new -do is kid tested and husband and mirror approved.


Now if I can just manage to stop pushing my now nonexistent hair off of my shoulders I wouldn't look like so much of a doofus.

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Sunday, June 8, 2014

It Means Love

My boys are both alike and different in so many ways.  But one way they are absolutely, positively alike is one particular way that they acknowledge me.  And I'm not a fan.  While on the surface it seems good.  They aren't being mean.  They aren't saying bad words.  They aren't even being defiant.  But every time they do it it gets my hackles up.

"Uh-huh."  Yes, I know it sounds benign, as they say it all the time in completely non-offending ways.  But there's that certain tone, that certain slowness to the utterance, that certain something that always, 100% means they're nicely telling me, "Yes, mom...you're so stupid."

But really, I should be celebrating this.  My boys are being kind to me.  They're taking great care to not actually call me "stupid".  I think they deserve to have a new value put on that "uh-huh" of theirs.  "Uh-huh" now officially means "Mom, I love you so much!!!"

And now they'll wonder why I respond with a big toothy grin and a celebratory clutch of my heart.

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Saturday, June 7, 2014

Barbed Wire - 2, Kali - 0

I was in two battles today with barbed wire fences.

Battle #1:  I was slipping through the strands of barbed wire with the kid to go recover a rocket.  He got through fine.  Me not so much.  My pants snagged on one of the barbs which threw my momentum off, my arms went a'whirling, and I got two lovely scratches on my left hand from some particularly rusty barbs.

Battle #2:  On the way back after recovering the rocket we were going over another barbed wire fence.  The kid got right over and offered help.  I held a post with my bleeding hand and took his hand with my other.  I stepped on the fencing and as he pulled me up he lost his grip, and I fell back...WHAM!...on my shoulder.  All in front of a small crowd of people.

While #1 is now my reason for having a Monday morning appointment to get a tetanus shot, #2 gave my dad excellent footage to capture with his quadcoptor he had circling above.


And the Oscar goes to....


And it's OK to laugh.  I am.

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Friday, June 6, 2014

A Renaming

So it turns out we can no longer call our kitten a "kitten".  Why?  Because he's so darn cute, that's why.

Little guy:  "I've renamed him.  He's not a "kitten" he's a "cuten".

Yup, the name seriously fits.

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Thursday, June 5, 2014

When the Internet was Down

You'da thought it was a national crisis.  The internet at the house was down.  And after the moans and groans died down to a small rumble, somehow everyone ended up outside.

Basketball was played, won, and lost.  Bicycles went up ramps and flew through the air.  And even I dug up my old muscle memory and realized that I could still do the BMX bike trick I learned almost thirty years ago.

Um, yeah, this mama's still got it!


Me:  "We should just get rid of the internet.  This is so much more fun!"

<insert crickets chirping and boys' eyes rolling>

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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

It's Good to be a Girl

It's good to be the only girl in the house.  One particular way has surfaced just recently.  And it revolves around laundry. 

Every time there's clean laundry a battle ensues.  A "That's mine!" battle.  The thing is, both of my boys and my husband now all wear approximately the same size shirts and shorts.  And they have no qualms about taking each other's clean clothing out of piles or drawers. 

Me?  Well, no one wants any part of mine...the girly, frilly, lacy, pastely, polka dotty, flowery, and tiny.  And that's awesome.

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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

In Need of a Manual

So I found a shirt on the side of the road.  A bunch of shirts, actually.  And I've been wearing them off and on for a while now.  All but one, that is. 

Now, I like the shirt.  At least I think I like the shirt.  But really I can't quite figure it out.  I think I know which is the neck hole and which is the waist hole...but truth be told, I'm not 100% sure.  So it sits in my drawer waiting for some stroke of genius to come over me.

I'm pretty sure the shirt must have originally come with a manual.


Suggestions and wisdom are welcome.

This is part of my Hallway Project.
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Monday, June 2, 2014

An Early Morning Scare

Sometimes when you think you're not alone, but it turns out you are, that ends up being a good thing.

Case in point:  This morning I got in my car.  I closed my door and saw something out of the corner of my eye.  I turned my head, saw nothing, turned my head...AND THERE IT WAS AGAIN!  My heartbeat accelerated.  I started to perspire just a tad.  I even reached over to lock all of the car doors.  But being me, I accidentally opened my window instead, which nearly gave me a heart attack. 

I got the window back up, managed to lock all the doors, held my breath, and turned my head.  I saw nothing, then turned my head back...and then I figured it out. 

Yes, I was scared of my own reflection. 

My little guy often manages to hit my driver's side mirror as he walks his bike to the back yard through the carport. 


And then slightly sweaty and much relieved me headed off to work.

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Sunday, June 1, 2014

Blissful Pile Up

I woke up from a delicious nap today to discover that I was part of a big, wonderful pile up.  Our big dog, Hazel, was sleeping down by my legs and somehow I'd managed to flop one of my legs on top of her, and our kitten, Tommy, was asleep on his back...on my front.

And let me just say that it's really, really hard to motivate yourself to get up and get productive when you're part of such a blissful pile up.

So I didn't.

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