Friday, January 31, 2014

Tricky, Trendy, and Warm(ish)

Random bit of info.

Putting skinny jeans on top of thermal's actually even harder than it sounds.

But so totally worth it when you have to be outside for hours in windy temps in the 30ºs and having to look fashionably trendy.

OK, on with your day now.

P.S. Taking said skinny jeans and thermals back off at the end of the day is much easier than putting them on.

Click here to check out my gallery.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

He's Lyin' about Bein' a Lion

Our little kitten.

He imagines himself to be a great golden predator...seeking out and attacking his prey.

Only thing is, his prey is our ankles as we walk by the bed and he takes a great leap out capturing us in his great claws.   And our feet under the covers, any move we make is attacked and he clampes down upon our toes with his mighty jaws.

I love our little King of the Jungle.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Missing Getting up at the Crack of Dawn...For Real

Call me crazy, but I'm finding myself missing getting my kid up at the butt crack of dawn (as it's known in our house) so we could drive in the pitch dark to school so he could go to wrestling practice.  I really liked hanging out with the kid....even though he was a bit grumpy when he got up...and griped about the cold...and spent the time in the car completely under a blanket...and never really talked to me (except for the griping, of course).  It was still really lovely mom/son time together.

I think I need to push him to join whatever sport is in season right now.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Who you sayin' has wee little mousy muscles?!?!

My little guy has been going to the gym with me lately.  He's rather funny.  Sort of.  He zooms around doing his own thing and then checks in with me when I'm doing the weight machines.  Really, it's quite lovely.  I mean how many moms have fifteen-year-old sons who don't mind hanging out with them?  I shouldn't complain...really I shouldn't.  But the little toot, along with stopping to chat, always, always makes sure to point out how light the weight is that his mom is using. 

Me:  "Um, dude, you weigh thirty more pounds than I do."

Me:  "Think about it, I'm thirty-one years older than you."

Me:  "Hey!  Check out these guns!"  <me flexing...and hoping I don't give myself a cramp whilst doing so>

I figure this conversation we keep having is simply one of those things that we just do.  He smirks a bit, but mostly smiles.  I complain a bit, but mostly I feel loved.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Low Tech Customer Tracking

You know how there's pretty much no secrets any more.  Seems there's always some way that businesses find out the scoop about what you want and need, and many, many other things about our personal lives.  It's all so very high tech and all.

Well, turns out there's a very low tech method being used at a store here in town.  I was checking out at Trader Joe's and the lovely checker lady said, "You've been in California."

OK, creepy...creepy because it's totally true.

Checker lady:  "You've got California bags.  All except this one from Texas."

OK, not so creepy.  And actually, I rather liked it.  Nice having data collected by a real person with some delightful conversation to go with it.  All with no intention of trying to get even more money out of me.  Good stuff.  Well played, Trader Joe's.

Click here to check out my gallery.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Mad Science - Parsons Style

We conducted an unintentional experiment the other night.  It froze here.  Down to about 27º.  And here's what the Parsons family the name of science, of course.  We did two things as an experiment to see what will freeze and what will not.

1. We left our plants outside.  We only have 3 because we happen to have conducted this same experiment in the past.

2. We left a case of Gatorade in the car.


1. Plants freeze.

2. Gatorade doesn't.

Not sure what we'll do with our results...except perhaps consider putting Gatorade in our radiators (Do cars even still have them or did they go the way of the carburetor?).  Somehow I don't think we've really learned our lesson about plants.

Click here to check out my gallery.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

First Neck Tweak...Then Ocean Terror

My little guy got his neck tweaked today at a wrestling meet, which reminded me of....

Sometime in the mid 80s I was in Galveston.  I'd slept funny, so my neck was all outa whack.  I dove into the ocean thinking, "Salt water cures everything, right?"

Out I swam and swam and swam, way out over my head.  I bobbed in the waves.  It was quite pleasant. And then a big wave came along and seriously smacked me up-side the head.  And I tell you what, it was the most fabulous neck pop ever!

I leaned back and floated, looking at the sky, utterly and completely at peace...until a small plane with a "Jaws 4, The Revenge" banner fluttering behind it flew directly overhead.

Yes I did set a swimming P.R. that day.

Click here to check out my gallery.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Hot Schnoz

I made a mistake today.  OK, it all starts with the fact that I love pickled jalepeños.  I mean I love them!  If they can even remotely go with a meal, I put 'em on my plate.  Yum!

Well today I was eating about a forth of a jar of these delicious little darlings.  I spilled a bit of juice on the table and, being the super tidy person I pretend to be, I wiped it up right quick with my tie dyed cloth napkin.

So all find and dandy...until I'm walking to the laundry room with said napkin and I decide to blow my nose.  Yup, got jalepeño juice all up in my nasal business.  I do believe smoke poured out of my mouth, nose and ears. 

But, hey, a little smoke out ears ain't gonna stop this jalepeño lovin' girl.  No way!

Click here to purchase this painting.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

It's OK to be Selfish Every Once in a While...Right?

Oh, those plans of mine.  I had it all worked out.  Perfect, according to Kali.

• We'd drop my car off to have it worked on.
• The next morning I'd ride my bike to work.
• Then after work Dave would pick me and my bike up, and drop me off at the mechanic's to pick up my car.

Turns out life doesn't always go "according to Kali."  Rats!

• We dropped off my car to have it worked on.
• I rode my bike to work.
• Dave wanted to work out at the same time I was hoping to be picked up.
• My big guy was leaving town at the same time I was hoping to be picked up.
• I rode my bike home in 37º windy temps, with just a thin sweater and no gloves, whilst sleet pelted my helmet.

Sigh...selfishly speaking I must say I prefer "according to Kali."

Click here to purchase this painting.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Hunky Text Received

So I'm at the gym with Dave when I get a text from my kid.  Well, actually there was no text, it was just a what do you call that?

Anyway, I open the "text" and there was a photo of a hunky guy.  From just above his nose to just below his pockets.  Shirt off.  Nice pecs.  Nice biceps.  But, hey, why do I need to have this picture when I have my hunky husband right there with me to check out, right?  Right?

Me:  "Why?"

Little guy:  "I did a good job at least."

Me:  "But I had your super sexy dad to look at.  :-)"

So our workout continued, we left and went home, and then everything was completely explained.  So why did my kid send me a photo of a hunky dude?  Turns out it was a Photoshop project.  You see, said hunky dude was a bit of a Frankenstein's monster.  Nicolas Cage's head, Ryan Gosling's bod, Nicolas' mouth where a belly button should have been.

Yup, my husband is way sexier than that.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Literally Awesome!

I love the things kids say...and not just my own kids.  Today in the cafeteria I got to participate in this little bit of wonderful.

Kiddo:  "I can't eat this, it's a fish!!!"

Me:  "Are you a vegetarian?"

Kiddo:  "I'm not a vegetarian, I'm a kid!"

I love my job!

Click here to check out my gallery.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Giving Rocks!

Earlier this month I committed to create something special for a number of people who in return also committed to create something special for a number of people...and on, and on.

Today I worked on three of my special somethings.  And it was so awesome!  I think it is the coolest thing that creating something purely as a gift is not only a pleasure, it is fun and easy.  The art just flowed.  It pretty much just jumped onto the canvas.

Continued mind, body, soul confirmation that giving rocks.

Click here to check out my gallery.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Ice Cream Emergency!

I went shopping first thing this morning.  I love shopping early when hardly anyone else is in the store.  I got my stuff in nothing flat and went to a cashier's lane.  I put all my stuff on the conveyer, my bags were ready, and I had my coupon in hand.  There was only one customer in front of me...and that guy went an had himself an emergency.  An ice cream emergency.

Guy:  "I got the wrong flavor!  I'll be right back!!!"

He rushed past me, bumping my cart as he passed on his way to the freezer aisle.

And we waited, and waited, and waited, and waited....

...and waited.

Several minutes later he finally appeared, his coveted ice cream in hand.

Guy:  "Thank you, thank you...that took longer than I thought."

I just gave him an understanding smile, feeling quite sure that if I'd gotten the wrong container of, say, yogurt, I'd have been tempted to do the same thing.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Tension vs. Attention...We have a winner!

I got to climb one of those rock walls the other day.  It was at least thirty feet high...seemed like a hundred.  My kid set me up with the harness, hooked me up, and said, "Go!"

"Um..."  I looked up and there was a big section that jutted out that I'd have to figure out how to manage.

I unhooked myself, went over to the attendant guy.  "I'm new at this, which spot do you recommend?"  He took me to another wall that was flat.  Aside from all the grab nubbins, of course.  I could either be hooked up to a tension rope or one that he'd hold manually.  I went for tension because my gut told me that "tension" wins out over "expecting a human to pay attention" every time.

So up I went.  Along the way I noted that all the nubbins on this particular wall were elephant trunks and other such kid friendly grabs.  Yup, I'd been placed in the child section.  But I rocked that child wall all the way to the top.  And because I was feeling particularly gutsy I took that leap of faith, jumping out into the air, and floated my way down. 

And, oh yes I did play "We are the Champions" on my iPod...and I totally meant me.

This painting started as a bunch of blobs.  As I stared at the "blobs" two animals jumped out at I did my part and brought them to the front.  Pretty sure they're happy I did.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Friday, January 17, 2014

In Disguise

It's like our cats wear costumes.  They're all sweet, soft, and cuddly on the outside...but if you make the mistake of petting them in the wrong spot (tummy) or petting them anywhere for just a bit too long, well, all sweet bets are off and out come the claws and fangs.  And then just as fast they're all "Touch me...touch me...I love you so."

And I do.  Every time.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Mind that Language!

I remember the first time my little guy cussed.  He tripped, and with absolutely perfect timing he said, "God dammit!"  And that's the day I stopped cussing in front of my toddler.

Now these days he says "crap"...a lot...but that's it.  At least in front of me, so I'm good with that.

But today I thought he'd finally slipped back to his toddler cussing days when I received this text.

"Where at the svcuk age you picking me up"


"School are"


Click here to purchase this painting.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Mama Doesn't Wrestle

...yup, I say that...a lot.

Yet the arms still end up around my neck, I still get pinned (usually in the kitchen as they're always hungry), and sometimes arms and legs are fully wrapped around me and I'm immobilized. 

And then tonight I watched my kid wrestle in an actual wrestling competition.  And it turns out that mom really doesn't wrestle.  Compared to what I saw tonight, mama was really just getting some sweet boy hugs.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

A thong by any other name....

I was at a gym today for the first time in forever.  As I walked through I had a flashback to a gym I used to belong to way before marriage and kids.  I remember one day there was a sign posted that said, "NO THONGS".  And I remember feeling rather indignant as it was the 90s and everyone female was wearing those awful thong leotard things over biker shorts.  At least I was...and a bunch of my friends.  Anyway, I was upset and brought it to the attention of the management and pretty much asked, "What the heck?!?!"  And I was kindly told that my thongs were just fine, they meant flip-flops. 

Proud to say I fought for thong rights in the 90s.  Even though I didn't need to.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Avalanche...Liquid Style

You know how when you're drinking out of a cup and it's filled with a bunch of small ice cubes and you tip...tip...tip it till the last bit of water starts running toward your mouth and then suddenly ALL of the ice smacks you in the face?

Well, when you're a hot tea addict like I am, something kind of sort of like that happens.  At least to me it does.  You know how when the bottom third of your tea has cooled because you've been busy doing other stuff and you go back to it because you want to drink the last of it and the teabag is still in there because you're milking it for all it's worth and you tip the mug back and the tea starts going toward your mouth and then the teabag flops right by your mouth and then all the tea floods around it and it sloshes around the sides of the teabag and spills over your cheeks and down your shirt soaking it and your bra?

No?  I do.  Me neither.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Follow the Bouncing Ball

So today as I drove to go pick up my kid from karate a golf ball bounced into my lane and proceeded to bounce, bounce, bounce down the lane in front of me...until I overtook it.  I rather wish there had been some music and lyrics to sing along to as I followed the bouncing ball.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Explaining the Feminine Side of Things

Knock, knock, knock!!

Anonymous child of mine:  "What?"

Me:  "Can you clear out of the bathroom?  I need something."

Anonymous child of mine:  "What?"

Me:  "A feminine product."

Anonymous child of mine:  "I don't even know what that is...a toothbrush?"

I swear, all you potential wives of my kid, before this young man leaves my home I will have him all educated in the realm of "feminine products."  I may even make him shop for some.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Apparently his Self Esteem is Solidly Intact

Dave was loving on our not-so-little kitten a few minutes ago.

Dave:  "He's just the sweetest kitty."  And he nuzzled in and gave the little fella a cuddle.

Me, always afraid that our older and amazing cat, Pug, will hear and be jealous...well, I had to say something.

Me:  "And there's a super sweet big kitty right here on this chair."  I reached down and gave him a little pet...and he bit me!  In that "I could kill you with this set of teeth but I'm going to go super easy on you just this once" kind of way. 

Thinking Pug can take care of himself both physically and emotionally.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

I've Found a Silver Lining to the Common Cold

I've managed to find the silver lining to having this delightful cold of mine.  As I walk about the house, already in my P.J.s at 5:30 PM, borrowed large ugly terrycloth bathrobe almost touching the floor, and the area between my upper lip and nose glistening with coconut oil as I try to stave off the under-nose, flaky skin dandruff that always seems to show up after a million nose blows...I'm apparently exempt from all requests to prepare food for others.  One look at me and, well, aside from obviously not wanting to catch my cooties, they've pretty much lost their appetites.

Well, to them I indignantly say, "I'm pretty!"

No one is buying what I'm selling.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

If it's wrong to have my art reflect my life, then I don't wanna be right.

Sometimes my art is just what pops into my head, sometimes it's my attempt to accurately approximately represent something I've seen, and sometimes it's an illustration to reflect something that's going on in my life.

Well, sorry to report, folks, that I currently have a cold.  A drippy, whiny, pity party kind of cold.  So there ya go, my friends. 

Bottoms up with my cup of water with's to feeling inspired to paint kitties, birdies, and flowers tomorrow.

P.S. Every time my family looks my way, at me holding a tissue, sniffling, hair all cwazy...well, I shout, "I'm pretty!"  Pretty sure it's agreement (or maybe fear) that I see in their eyes.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Rebellious Name Game

I was a bit of a rebel many years ago.  I acted out.  My parents and teachers weren't amused.

Anyway, as part of that rebellion I was absolutely determined to keep my last name should I ever marry.  And at the age of twenty-five I did just that.

Now, some twenty-two years later for some reason I feel compelled to take my husband's name.  What makes the entire thing ridiculous is that my maiden name is exactly the same as my husband's last name.  So, yup, I'm Kali Parsons Parsons.

Seriously, I don't know how to reconcile all of this.  Ideas?

P.S. Don't call me "Mrs." Parsons...I'm still rebelling against that.  It's "Ms." Parsons, thank you very much. 

Click here to purchase this painting.

Monday, January 6, 2014

That's Gotta Smart!



Yup, no mom wants to hear that combo.

The guys all pour into the house.

Little guy:  "Man, I hope I didn't fracture it."

Little guy:  "It's already bruising."

Little guy:  "That's gonna really hurt."

Me:  "You should go take a shower and wash it off."

Little guy:  "No, I'm OK."

And off he went.

It's a funny thing.  When he was really little, every time he got hurt I'd wish I could take on his pain rather than have him deal with it.  Clearly these days he handles it so much better than I ever would (though I'd still take on his pain given the choice).

Little dude's way more a stud than his mom!

Click here to purchase this painting.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Hippie Chick Fail

A funny thing happened at the store today.  I was walking around, holding my phone, checking off items on our shopping list that Dave and I had entered (we're geeky, we can both enter things and it combines it as one list), and a nice super market guy asked me, "You need any help finding anything?"

Me:  "No, I've got it, thanks."

Super market guy:  "I just noticed that you were looking at your phone for a while."

Me:  "My shopping list is on it.  I was checking things off."

And then I realized that while my goal was to be a hyper environmentally conscious paperless, canvas bag carrying mama, in reality I was just one of the masses who walks around not engaging with others because they're so focused on their hand held technology.

Hippie chick fail.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Hooked on Mints

My kid has a problem.  And I suppose I only have myself to blame.  While I can't control what he thinks and does (like ever!), I was likely the one who first exposed him.

Yes, my little guy is apparently hooked on mints.  It started with Tic-Tacs, then moved to those curiously strong Altoids.  Around Christmas he switched to some organic vegan mints that I gave him.  (At least that's a little better, right?)  Yes, I'm officially his supplier, it seems.

And all of that would be just fine if he consumed perhaps ten or fifteen a day.  But, no.  The kid has consumed up to fifty in an hour.  When one mint is just down to a wee little nub, he pops another in his mouth.  He's a chain minter, that fresh breathed, goofy kid of mine.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Friday, January 3, 2014

The First Time I got Busted by the Cops

For some reason, lately every time I see the color green, this old memory comes flooding back.

I must've been nine or ten.  It was a perfect summer day, with perfect weather, in perfect Palo Alto, California, in my grandparents' perfect neighborhood.  I was riding my beyond amazing green banana seat bike with tall handlebars.  Proudly printed on the frame were the words "Dill Pickle," and the playing card I had clipped near my spokes was making the most satisfying purr.  My brother was seated behind me.  No helmets.  No worries.  Wind in our hair.  Bliss!

And then a police officer pulled up beside us and demanded that we stop immediately.  Which we most certainly did.

Police Officer:  "Only one passenger per seat."

I looked at my banana seat that clearly provided ample room for my bottom, my brother's bottom, and at least one more friend's bottom, and looked back at the cop.

I think it was at that moment that I realized that not all laws made make sense...or at least the bad ones shouldn't apply to me.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

A Monster at the Door

So the other day our kitten got the baheckadies scared out of him.  Really it should have been OK.  Really it should have been safe.  And really it was...but it seemed like it so wasn't.

You see, one of my little guy's friends was at the door.  He'd come to hang out.  But this kid is delightfully wonderful and quirky, and he showed up at the door with a big brimmed Chinese hat, large blue goggles, and wiggly, wiggly arms.  So when Dave opened the door while holding our sweet little kitten, the kitten caught sight of the monster at the door, dug all ten of his claws into Dave's back and shoulder (through his jacket) and took off running.

And then we laughed.  And then I did wound care on David's ouchies.  And then we made sure that the kitten's sweet little heart hadn't exploded out of its ribcage.  And then we laughed again.

Click here to purchase this painting.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

A Mom's Advice is Rarely Heeded

I bribe my kids to get them to hang out with me.  It's a fact.  Just the other day I told my little guy that I'd buy him lunch at Chipotle if he'd walk there with me.  He negotiated on the walking bit, of course...and off we went, I walking and he riding his bike...I in a scarf, gloves, and two sweaters, he in a T-shirt and sweat pants even though I asked him twice if he wanted to dress more warmly.

And it was groovy.  He stayed right by me, conversed with me the entire way, ate his way-too-big burrito, and we started walking back.  The wind picked up a bit and suddenly he was riding closer to me.  Way too close.  And then he got behind me.  Right behind me.

Little guy:  "You need to eat a lot more, mom."

Me:  "Why?"

Little guy:  "Because you're a lousy windscreen."

Me:  "Wouldn't it be easier if you'd just worn a hoodie?"

Little guy:  "Why?  I'm fine."

I'm pretty sure that someday I'll be right. 

Click here to purchase this painting.