Happy Halloween and Happy Birthday to my Little Guy!!!

Sixteen years ago today we welcomed our little guy to this world of ours.  He was born at home in our bed and and that evening when Trick-or-Treaters rang the doorbell, my very proud husband introduced all the little ghosts, goblins, and witches to our very own little spook.  He gave them candy, too, of course...because, really, those kids weren't all that interested in a baby.  But soon all the neighbors showed up to meet the newest resident...and then more neighbors...and then more.  I'm pretty sure he set a world record that day for meeting the most people in the first twelve hours of life.

And maybe it's how he would've turned out regardless of the day he was born, but my little guy is obsessed with tricking me.  Here's what's happened to me in just the last twenty-four hours.


• A sticky slug toy was shot at me and it went "splat" on my neck and stuck there.  Bleck!

• The same slug was left for me to "accidentally" step on when I was barefoot.

• I've turned my head only to have my cheek poked by a waiting pointer.

• As we went through my brother's awesomely scary haunted house I was touched or had things thrust at me to "enhance" my experience.

• Ice has been put down my back.

• A skeletal hand has been placed on my shoulder repeatedly.

• A walking hand has graced the top of my head.


And I freak out.  Every.  Time.  It's my little gift to my little guy who has given me so much happiness, joy, and bliss over the years.


Happy Birthday, Little Guy...We love you!!!

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With Color

I'm so, so used to being around boys.  My kids are boys.  My husband...a boy.  And it seems, though I haven't actually been collecting data beyond what I see in the laundry (a sea of tan, gray, blue, and black T-shirts and pants), that the color pallet that comes with all these boys is a bit narrow given all the choices that are out there.  So this lovely and amazing time I'm getting to spend with my fabulous niece is rounding out the spectrum for me...in a spectacular and sparkly way!  My computer bag is now covered with the sweetest little colorful stickers - chickens, rainbows, and unicorns among them.  The room where I'm sleeping houses the brightest pink Barbie dollhouse and yacht ever.  And her gymnastic outfits are sparkly beyond compare.

And on top of being colorful, sparkly, and full of fun and whimsy, this terrific girl is one of the most amazing athletes I've ever known. 

Strong, creative, brilliant, passionate, and kind...this girl rocks!

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Wonder through the Eyes of a Child

Its beautiful to see the wonder in my child's eyes.  Even at fifteen (almost sixteen...two more days) he sees the amazing in things.  We boarded an airplane set for California this morning and he sat glued to the window as we took off in flight, rose over the city, and then above the clouds. 


Me:  "This is what your rockets get to see."

Little guy:  "Yeah."


And then I let him enjoy the view in silence.

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Batty for Austin, Texas

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder.  And maybe that's what's been happening to me.  Although for me it's more like the anticipation of distance.  I've been thinking a lot about my upcoming trip to California (the little guy and I leave first thing tomorrow morning).  So I couldn't help but create something that celebrates this city I love and one of my favorite things about it. 

I absolutely never, ever tire of watching the bats emerge from under the Congress Avenue Bridge (I think they now actually call it the Ann W. Richards Congress Avenue Bridge...a totally rockin' name to be sure.).  But what I love even more is being on that bridge just before the sun rises and I can still see the last of the twinkling stars above.  The bats return home in a flurry that to me, is even more beautiful than when they emerged the evening before.  They're tired.  They're tummies are full.  Sleep is the next thing on their batty agenda. 

I love them...and I'm definitely Batty for Austin, Texas.


I've had this design, minus a few of the stars, set up as a T-shirt on Zazzle.  The back of the shirt says, "Batty for Austin, Texas".  Click here to go to the Zazzle link.  Scroll down to see images of the front and the back of the shirt.  Available in sizes infant to adult, guys and gals.

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Just Stay Asleep

The little guy and I are taking a trip to California in a couple of days.  As I got him up this morning for before-school wrestling practice, here's how it went.


Little guy:  "What time does our flight leave?"

Me:  "Around 7 AM."

Little guy:  "Ugh."

Me:  "But we have to get there an hour before that, so we'll have to wake up around 5 AM."

Little guy:  "Ugh!!  You're going to push me around in one of those luggage carts so I can just stay asleep, right?"

Me:  "Um...nope."

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Validation of Good Parenting

Know how I know I've done a good job being a parent?  Well, I'll tell ya. 


My little guy was in the kitchen singing the awesome tune from the "Star Wars" cantina scene...over and over again. 

Clearly he's been exposed to the most important things in life.


If I drag out all my old action figures I be he'd be willing to recreate the scene with me...gonna go get 'em now!

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Another Addition to my "Can't do that Any More" List

I've started a weekly bootcamp class.  I'm loving it!  But the other day our trainer was giving us some options for a particular exercise.  One happened to be going into a back bend from a lying down position.  Well, I hadn't done one in, perhaps, thirty years or so, but I thought, "How hard can it be?"

So I did it.  And my world started spinning out of control. 

Lesson learned.  This girl is designed to stay upright at all times.

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From Bad to Worse

I picked up the kid after a long sweaty game of football last night.  And I tell you what...the smell of his uniform that was filled with his sweat and the sweat of every other teenager on the field that he'd happened to bump into...Bad.

Yup, all the windows went down.

And then the amazingly strong smell of some poor rotting animal filled the car...Worse.


Serious olfactory overload.

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Funny? Hmmmmmmm...

I'm constantly forgetting what I said.  Such is the case from last night.  I cracked what I was convinced was a really funny joke.  But my audience did not share my enthusiasm.  Decidedly did not.


Little guy:  "That's worse than a bad joke...that's a dad joke."


Wow.  That is bad. 

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Post Revolution

So a year later my big guy finally saw the clip of me on NBC's "Revolution". 


Me:  "It's on Netflix now, check it out."

Big guy:  "No, mom, I'm busy.  I'll look at it later."


Later...and by later I mean about an hour after I'd fallen asleep and was happily dreaming-n-drooling.  A puddle on my pillow is a sign of some good sleep happenin'.


Big guy:  "Hey, mom!  I just watched you...that was cool!  You looked a lot like the star of the show."


The star is in her early 20s...he was instantly forgiven for waking me up.


Until...

Big guy:  "You both looked dirty."


I'm good with it.  This forty-seven year old broad is happy to look like a dirty chick in her 20s any day.

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It Could Happen

So, because I'm such an awesome mom and all, as the little guy and I were driving to the orthodontist's today to get his braces installed (is that the right word?), we had this conversation.


Me:  "You know, I've heard that if you kiss someone with braces you could get stuck together...and if that does happen, you know I'd make you both wear your seatbelts on the way to the hospital."

Little guy:  "I don't think that's something you go to the hospital for."



OK, perhaps, but I'd still likely call 9-1-1.

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Crooked Smile

The little guy is gonna get something tomorrow that I always wanted as a kid.  It seemed like all the cool kids were getting them...alas, it was not in the cards for my young teenage self.  While I had bad hair, bad skin, ugly glasses, and a terrible sense of style, I had naturally straight teeth. 

Well, tomorrow the little guy, who has great hair, reasonably good skin, contact lenses, a great sense of easy-going style, and crooked teeth with a funny bite, gets braces.

Unfortunately my excitement for him has not proven to be contagious. 

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Big Wing Dreams

One of our sweet chickens has a problem.  A wing problem.  While Fuzzy's body is about the same size as the other chickens, her wings are about half the size of her peeps (see what I just did there?).  When we hold our other chickens and let them fly out of our hands, their wings spread beautifully and they do that "almost fly" thing that chickens do.  When we hold Fuzzy and let her fly out of our hands, her teeny, tiny wings flap furiously making a whirring sound, and she falls to the ground twisting and turning Woodstock style. 

But I'm quite sure that when she gets in the coop each night, closes her eyes, tucks her head into her teeny, tiny wing, that she has the most amazing big wing dreams a chicken could have.

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Poops, they Did it Again

Yup.  Once again I've been pooped on by a bird.  And not one of my own birds either.  I was just innocently sitting outside of a coffee shop when...SPLAT!  It somehow managed to hit both of my legs at once.


Little guy:  "That's pretty great mom!"

Dave:  "You got blessed!"

Little guy:  "That's funny!"


And I most definitely do feel blessed.  But I'd be OK with the universe spreading the blessing love around just a tad.

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Roll Over, Roll Over...

You know that kids' song, the one about all the creatures in bed and they all roll over and one falls off?  Well, that just so happens to be my nightly bed experience. 

I get in bed first.  Then our big dog, Hazel.  Then our cat, Pug.  Then our cat, Tommy.  Zzzzzzzz...  And then a while later Dave gets in.  And he's pretty much a disturbance in our sleepytime force. 


Dave:  "Move over...go on."


And Tommy moves over, and Pug moves over, and Hazel moves over, and suddenly I'm at the edge of the bed just about to fall out.  And I would except for that I have "move over" powers myself. 


Me:  "Move over...go on."


And Tommy jumps off, and Pug moves to the foot of Dave's side, and Hazel curls up by my feet.

Zzzzzzzz....

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Kid Love

Because we're both competitive and dorks, this is how our husband/wife texting goes.


But first, a little explanation.  I was just leaving work and I'd driven my car instead of riding my bike so I could bring some stuff home with me.  And since I had my car I agreed to pick my little guy up at the bottom of the big hill that leads to our house.


Dave:  "Sucker"  He was stalking our iPhone locations and he figured out what I was doing for the kid.

Me:  ":-P He was lucky.  He caught me just as I was leaving work.  And, yes, I'm a sucker.  But he loves me more than he loves you! :-)"

Dave:  "Yeah, but I'm making him taquitos."


Dang!  I think Dave may have just won this "kid love" round.

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Mind Blown

I sat in a high school chemistry classroom tonight for a meeting and I realized that I have absolutely no memory of ever having taken chemistry in high school, though surely I did...right?  And when I really think about it, I have hardly any memories of high school at all.  Yet I remember SO MUCH about what I was doing outside of high school during those years.

I guess a girl has her memory space priorities, eh?

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Trapped in a Biker Jacket

As a teenage punk rocker I was so excited when I got my first biker jacket.  Truly, such a treasure.  My first one, in retrospect, was a bit lame, though I remember it as AWESOME!  I bought it at the local Army/Navy Surplus store and it was 100% vinyl.  I proudly hung a pair of miniature handcuffs on one of the zipper handles and strung red, yellow, and green thread around the buckle.  Yup, awesome.

Years later, as an adult, I bought a "real" biker jacket...but it never did rock the vibe like my original one that eventually fell apart.  Vinyl, ya know.


Well Dave cleared out his closet a while back and one of his clear out items was an awesome leather biker jacket.  Cool zippers, belt and all.  I've had it riding around in the back of my car thinking that surely I'll either find the perfect someone to give it to who will love it or maybe I'd end up someplace where I could sell it.

Neither of our kids wanted it at all, to my great disappointment, but one day when it was cold and my little guy had forgotten his hoodie, I offered Dave's biker jacket to him.


Me:  "Here, try this on.  It'll definitely keep you warm."

Little guy:  "Do you have anything else?"

Me:  "No.  And this is awesome!"


He put it on one arm at a time, zipped it up, and he looked amazing!


Little guy:  "I hate this jacket!" as he tried to shake it off.

Me:  "Wha?!?!"

Little guy:  "I can't get out!"


And it was true.  He could not get it off.  

So together we pried it off.


So, anyone need an awesome biker jacket?

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My Family's Shopping List

Every time I go to the grocery store I text my family, "Add to the shopping list!"

So, when I arrived at the store and pulled out my phone to check the list, here's what I saw:


Earth worms

Propeller hat

Yarn

Pet rock

Altimeter

Nose hair trimmer

Eye of newt

Grass clippings

Deodorizing charcoal underpants

Spitoon

Hair straightener

Tibetan flag

Water balloon launcher

Axle grease


Well, I blew all that off...except for the deodorizing charcoal underpants.  In my family those are a must have!

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Got a Frog in his Throat

...or maybe a toad...or perhaps a lizard.

Yup, our wee little cat learned a valuable life lesson the other night.  At least we hope he did.

Dave saw the little dude with some sort of amphibian/lizard type critter in his mouth.  Being the proud little cat that he is, he took off runnin' not about to give up his prized possession.

But it turns out that such critters have a defense of their own designed to discourage predators...and our sweet little predator was soon frothing at the mouth and barely able to see through his swollen, squinty eyes.

Off to the emergency vet we went where $89 later it was determined that our little dude would be just fine.  And maybe, just maybe, he learned a little somethin'.

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Texting Snafu

Sometimes texting your mom goes terribly wrong...


Little guy's text:  "When we go to California you should get me a sex was sh*t." (The "*" is my doing to keep this blog post Rated PG.)

Then, a second later:  "Shirt"

Me:  "Surf's up, typo man."


And my kid learned just how valuable the letter "r" is.  The shirt purchase is still up for debate.

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A Rare Sighting

I saw the coolest thing tonight.  I was walking my dog in the hood and came upon a group of folks walking down to the Austin City Limits Festival.  They were all walking together, yet they were all staring down at their iPhones, silently.  All except one, that is.  One guy was walking down the hill looking at an actual piece of paper!  It was downright refreshing, I tell ya!

Of course when I tried to get his attention to tell him just how cool I though it was, he was unable to tear his eyes away from his paper.  Reminded me of when I used to walk around with a book, totally unable to put it down. 

Awesome!

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I Fell for It

My little guy was playing music for me in the car as is our routine.  I groove on it.  Then the non-radio version lyrics get to me (I'm old, you see), I turn it off with my steering wheel stereo controller, he turns it back on, lather, rinse, repeat. 


Me:  "I'm not a fan of that one."

Little guy:  "That's because it's 'up dog'."

Me:  "What's 'up dog'?"

Little guy:  "I can't believe you actually fell for it and said, 'What's up, dog?'"

Me:  "Ugh."

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Getting his Sardine On

Our little kitten is so chill.  He'll let the boys wear him as a hat.  He'll let them wear him as a scarf.  He'll even let us snuggle him for hours minutes on end. 

But if you pull out a tin of sardines, all chill bets are off.  Chill kitty turns into wacked out obsessive kitty.  MUST GET FISH!!!!

No way we're letting this little guy around catnip.

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The Kid Makes me Wonder if Honesty is the Best Policy

The kid is always asking me why I talk to strangers.

Well, today the answer was, "Because you farted in the elevator, and it was really potent, and I thought that lady deserved to know what she was getting into."

And what did that lady stranger say?  "I'll be fine."


Can't say I didn't warn her.

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First Thing in the Morning

I had to wake the kid up the other day super, super early.  We were off to one of our monthly rocket launches.  I went into his room, gave him a little shake, brushed the side of his cheek, ruffled his flattened mohawk, and said, "Time to wake up, dude."

He crinkled his nose, shook off my touch, groaned just a bit, and said, "I don't like this formula."

Ya, I dunno either, but I'm assuming my mad little scientist was still deep in dreamland.

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Entrepreneurial Spirit

So the little guy and his friend have been selling drinks and other stuff in our front yard during the Austin City Limits Music Festival.  They've been making money in the way that you'd expect...but a little while ago my kiddo came in carrying a banana peel.


Little guy:  "Someone paid me a dollar to throw this in our trash."

Me:  "Groovy!"

Little guy:  "Do we have any more ice?"

Me:  "Just what's in the freezer."

Little guy:  "Good!  Someone wants to buy ice so they can make a margarita."


Loving these little entrepreneurs!!

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A Little Morning Pleasure and Pain

I got up early this morning and staggered out to the living room...it's how I roll at 6:00 AM on a Saturday.  Hazel, my sweet dog and one of my best friends ever, zoomed by me with great gusto.  And then she proceeded to wag her tail with such happiness and vigor in celebration of the brand new day...only thing was, my right leg was in the path of her happy vigorous tail and as a result of her pure bliss I'm now sporting two bright red tail-shaped welts.

Ah, pleasure and pain...but I do so love that girl's enthusiasm!

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ACL Love

I know that ACL means something to so many people.  Great music...fun crowds...sunkissed bliss.

Know what it means to me?

I get to hang out in my house with the windows open and listen to the jams.  I get to make about a million cookies for my kid to sell in our front yard as all the festival goers walk by (he and a friend are raising money for an upcoming school trip to Costa Rica).  I get to paint and write to my heart's delight and enjoy it all...from the comfort of my own home. 

I love ACL!

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Me...Happy!

Sometimes I'm reminded of what a simple creature I am.  What did it take me to get super excited last night?  Well, I'll tell ya. 

Last night I was all set to floss my teeth when I realized that I didn't have to.  They'd already been flossed at the dentist's office.

And I was elated!!!


Yup, keepin' it (and me) simple.

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Panic Attack...Nope

A few years back I had a full fledged panic attack while I was at the dentist's office.  They were having to break apart one of my fillings from when I was a kid and I felt like there were silver boulders bouncing around in my trachea.  And, admittedly, I kind of lost it.  It was not pretty.

Well, I put my big girl panties on today and went to the dentist for a cleaning.  A different dentist.  And while my hands were firmly clasped together I managed to stay downright relaxed...the whole time!

That's right, I'm a bad mamma jamma!

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