Friday, August 31, 2012

Straight Lines are Overrated

I mowed our lawn earlier this week. It's funny, my kid mows all our neighbors' lawns, but not ours.  Hmmmm...  Anyway, as I was mowing I'd make a pass and would admire his amazingly straight mow lines at the house across the street.  It looked like he actually measured it out and very deliberately mowed according to some mathematical formula.  I continued mowing, back and forth, back and forth, fully convinced that I was doing just as amazing a job as he had done.  I pushed, I pulled, I sweated...a lot.  And then I was done.  Yay!  I put all the equipment away and went out to admire my work.  Did my lines look straight?  Did I use higher level thinking whilst mowing?  Uh...apparently not so much.  Our lawn looked like a drunken combination of an Escher painting and a Rorschach painting.  Totally wacky.  But was anyone complaining about my work?  No way.  That'd just mean it would be their turn next time.  Right?  Right.

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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Drive to Drive

Who loves driving?  My big guy loves driving.  How much does he love driving?

Big guy:  "Mom, want me to go grocery shopping for you tomorrow?"

Me:  "Really?  Sure!"

Big guy:  "OK, I'll need a list...and I'll need money for groceries...and money for gas...and money for Taco Bell."

OK, so he loves driving, gas money, and Taco Bell.

Smart kid.  He "drives" a hard bargain...and wins!

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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Age is only a Number

As I was heading to work today I was reflecting on my new "old lady" routines of late.  I've been finding myself slathering on moisturizer with an SPF each morning, packing my "real" shoes in my backpack as I walk to work in my "comfy" ones, and I've been wearing a hat or seeking shade whenever I'm outside.

So, I was delighted by this conversation first thing this morning upon my arrival to the school grounds.

Sixty-something-year-old Crossing Guard:  "I have a question for you."

Me:  "OK, sure, what?"

Crossing Guard:  "Do you go to school here?"

Me:  "Do you mean, 'Am I a student?'"

Crossing Guard:  "Yeah."

Me:  "No, I'm a teacher."

Crossing Guard:  "For how long?"

Me:  "This is my ninth year."

Crossing Guard:  "I thought you were a student last year when every day I'd see you ride your bike."

Me:  "Nope, but hey, thanks for making my day!!!"

So, chalk it up to my small stature, or perhaps the fact that my bike of choice happens to be a BMX, or quite possibly the fact that I'm not always the most mature person around...but hey, no matter how you look at it, that fella thought I was no older than twelve!

Thanks, life, for that little morning bonus!

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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Get your Motor Running

My big guy got his driver license today.  Such a rite of passage!  And, you know what?  I think his personality changed just a bit.  You know, kind of like when we trim our standard poodle and her personality changes because she feels all fancy and all.  OK, so not exactly like that, but my big guy is altered in a really wonderful way.  I think there's something about knowing that you can go somewhere...anywhere...all by yourself.  And you've got a lovely little piece of plastic to prove it.  And where did my lovely fella choose to go on this momentous day?  To a sub shop a few blocks away and a convenience store that was even closer.  Perfect!  Mom needs to ease into this new thing, too.

Way to go, big guy!!!  Love you, kiddo!!

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Monday, August 27, 2012

The student has surpassed the master...

...or at least the child has surpassed the parent.  And by parent, I mean me.  So tonight my big guy thought it was a great idea to ask his mom for help with math.  Now, I have to go ahead and say here that back in the day...WAY back in the day, as in over twenty-five years ago...math was pretty much my thing.  I remember actually doing unassigned math problems "just for fun"!

Well, it turns out it's true, "use it or lose it," and this chick has seriously failed to use it.  After thirty minutes of graphs, parabolas, translations, and on and on, I declared that I am here just for moral support (which is good, because I am able to rock at that).  So, I became his sounding board, someone he could explain things to and I'd let him know if it sounded logical to me or not.

I found myself looking over at him, fully aware that his brain was far more functional in this area than mine would likely every be again, and I rather loved it.

He found himself glancing over at me once in a while as I listened and slurped on a smoothie, pulling my straw out and sucking the contents from the bottom of the straw.

Big guy:  "Mom, drink your drink, don't play with it."

Yup, feeling like the goofy grown up I am...and knowing my kiddo loves me for it.

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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Blended Family

So, you know we welcomed a new blender into our home earlier this week.  And we love it/her/him!!!  And, as we named our little robot vacuum cleaner, Rosie, we just HAD to name our new blender, right?  Right.

First I went to talk to the boys.

Me:  "We have to name our blender."

Little guy:  "Do you have any name ideas?"

Me:  "Chewie."

Big guy:  "Yeah, Chewie.  I vote for that."

Me:  "You're just agreeing with me to get me to leave your room."

Big guy:  "No, it chews up guacamole and smoothies.  I get it."

Me:  "Yeah, that and I'm a Star Wars geek."

Little guy:  "Susie...OK, Chewie."

Me:  "Awesome, thanks guys!"

Next I went to talk to Dave.

Me:  "We need to name our blender.  I've already got three votes for Chewie."

Dave:  "This is a big decision.  I need to process this."

Me:  "Uh, yeah, funny.  'Process' this because it's kind of like a food processor.  Sort of."

Dave:  "Ideas keep going around and around in my head."

I could tell I wasn't going to get anywhere with him  while he was being so darn punny and all.  So, I'd like to consider my name idea victorious.

Welcome to our home, Chewie!!!!!

No need to process or go round and round...go ahead and "like" my blog post.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Hair of the Dad

Driving around in the car last night with my little guy and a couple of his friends.

Boy #1:  "I'm going to be SO hairy when I grow up.  My dad has hair all over his back."

Boy #2:  "Dude, I'm going to be even hairier than you.  Have you checked out my dad?  He looks like a gorilla when his shirt is off."

Little guy:  "I'm going to have a lot of body hair, too."

Me:  "Um, have you ever looked at your dad?"

Little guy:  "Oh, yeah, I mean I'm not going to have a lot of body hair."

...and now I know too much about my kid's friends' dads.

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Friday, August 24, 2012

Pockets are a Girl's Best Friend

I'm all for awkward, I really am.  Mostly when I get to see it happen to other people, but I'm OK with my share, too.  Well, this morning I made the rare decision to wear a skirt.  Rare because, well, I'm awkward in them for the most part.

It all seemed fine and dandy, though.  So, I put my backpack on and headed out the door to walk to work.  Only thing was, I soon realized, with every step I took, my skirt hitched up and to the right...just a bit.  Soon my skirt was about six inches shorter and about three inches to the right.  And it was above my knees to begin with!

This called for some problem solving.  I put my backpack on only one shoulder, righted my skirt, and tried walking again.  The skirt stayed put. backpack had been a messin' with my skirt!  OK, so the one shoulder thing was working except for that my backpack was really heavy.  So, I had to put it back on both shoulders.  This called for more problem solving.  I decided I'd try walking with my thumbs tucked into my pockets.  And, boy howdy, it sure 'nuf worked.  And, awkward bonus...I got to release my inner cowgirl.  Ye-haw!

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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Smooth Talker

My family broke the cardinal rule today.  You know, the one where you're not supposed to open a delivered package unless it has your own name on it.  Eesh!  OK, I have to take some responsibility.  I did get them a little excited about it and all.  You see, I ordered one of those blenders with super powers.  The ones that can make any solid food product into a silky, smooth drinkable mush. 

Anyway, it was set to arrive today.  I was super excited about it, but knew I had to hold on as Dave and I had someplace to go immediately after work.  He picked me up (I walked to work today) and off we went.

Dave:  "Your package came today."

Me:  "It did?  Yay!  You didn't open it, did you?"

Dave:  "Of course we did."

Me:  "Well, you didn't use it already, did you?"

Dave:  "Of course we did."

[me hyperventilating just a bit]

Me:  "Well, did you know it can...?"

Dave:  "Yeah, we already tried...."

Yup, that went on for a while.

So, when we finally got home I ran in and checked it out.  I tossed in fruit, I tossed in veggies, I tossed in a few other things, too.  The little guy and I fought over who got to push the button to make it go.  Yes, I did win.  And, yes, I did make the most amazing ghastly-looking, delicious bev ever!

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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

If it's wrong, I don't wanna be right...sort of

If being in my pajamas at 6:30 tonight is wrong...well, then, I don't wanna be right.  OK, so I'd rather not be right, but you see, when you tell your family that the cat is absolutely NOT allowed to sleep over night inside the house any more because I'm his favorite nighttime party buddy, and one of the family members apparently doesn't get the memo, and Pug, our cat, decides that 3:30 A.M. is the perfect time to make biscuits on my chest and head bang my forehead totally waking me up for the day [deep breath, too long of a sentence], well, by 6:30 P.M. it takes all my remaining energy to P.J. up and type these one-hundred-twenty-three words.  :-)  Kali out.

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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Back in Time

I've heard so many people say they'd LOVE to be back in high school again.  I always think, "Really?  No way!  You must be joking!"

Well, today I got my chance and did go back to high school.  Why?  Because the universe must think I have issues to work out there from long ago, and keeps scheduling teacher trainings at that campus.  So, hey, while I was there I figured I had to take a wander around, right?

My memories are scant, but a few things popped out at me.

• The entrance I used back then where kids gathered in the morning and called me "Mrs. T" when I gave myself a mohawk.

• The Principal's office I visited on the days my hand-made skirts were deemed too short.  I was a crafty seamstress back then...with limited quantities of material apparently.

• The parking lot where I parked my car.  I'm embarrassed to say that, yes, I did drive to school even though I lived only half a block away.

• The covered porch where I tried my darndest to become a smoker.  I don't think I ever managed to actually inhale.

It's fun to visit, but I sure am glad my current life is now, not then.

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Monday, August 20, 2012

Concentrate...You're feeling very stinky.

You know, you go to the gym to feel good, right?  Well...

Me:  "Hey, guys, what did you two do while I was at the gym?"

Little guy:  "Nothin'."

Big guy:  "Mom, go away." (Yeah, pretty standard stuff these days.)

Me:  "You guys just been hanging out?"

Little guy:  "Yeah."

Big guy:  "Mom, you should stink." The kid waved his hand in front of his face to show me exactly what he meant.  Let me point out here that he was about six feet away from me, and if he smelled something foul, it was likely his little brother.

Me:  "I don't stink."

Big guy:  "You've been at the gym.  That means you stink."  He actually nodded his head, trying to hypnotize me or something.

Me:  "I'm a girl.  That means I always smell like flowers."  I nodded my head...totally succeeding in hypnotizing him.

Yup...round 1,591 goes to mom.

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Sunday, August 19, 2012

How can they miss me if I don't go away?

So, after an absolutely, positively, amazingly delicious summer break, I return to work tomorrow. 

Me:  "I go back to work tomorrow."

Little guy:  "Good for you."

Me:  "I go back to work tomorrow."

Big guy:  "You said like a month ago that you were ready to go back."

Me:  "No, I didn't.  It was about a week ago."

Big guy:  [shrug]

Well, so they don't miss me now, but they will when the go to the fridge tomorrow, like they always do, stare at its bursting contents, and declare, "We don't have anything to eat, mom!!"

Yeah, then they'll miss me.  Ten bucks says they'll text me that same message tomorrow. 

"Mom, there's nothing to eat!" = "Mom, we miss you so much!"

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Saturday, August 18, 2012

Out of the Mouths of Teenagers

My big guy walked into the kitchen and found me lying on the floor.

Big guy:  "Mom, why are you on the floor?"

Me:  "Because Scout's down here and I wanted to be with her."

Big guy:  "Oh, cool."

He went to work filling a couple jugs with ice and water to take to his room.

Me:  "I like that as soon as we got home you took off your pants."  He was standing there in his boxers.

Big guy:  "Why would I wear pants at home?"

Me:  "Oh...yeah."

Such wisdom at seventeen.  I love that kid!

"Liking" my blog on facebook would be a very wise thing to do.

Friday, August 17, 2012

A Good Deed

So, the little dude learned today that good deeds do get rewarded.  He was skateboarding around the hood today when he spied something on the ground.  It was shiny, so of course he picked it up!  Turned out it was an American Express card.  And this particular American Express card happened to belong to a local business owner.  Little guy put it in his pocket and brought it home.  When I walked in he showed it to me.  Well, one phone call, a message left, and a quick returned call later, he had an offer of FREE stuff at the business.

He and a friend skateboarded down there right quick and scored free stuff...for both of them.

I love when stuff all turns out groovy like this.  Yay for the kid and yay for an awesome local business.  Integrity won BIG today!

"Liking" my blog on facebook is a reward unto itself.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Magical Mystical Memory

You know when you go to a restaurant and the waitperson comes up and asks you what you'd like to order?  I LOVE that part!  And then they listen to every person's individual orders, with interjected changes and additions, and they fail to write anything down?  I HATE that part.  It makes me terribly nervous.  I just know they're going to accidentally slip one of my personal icky list items in my food.  Well, that wait time between ordering and the food finally arriving is time filled with much stress for me.  I can't really carry on a conversation.  I bounce around in my seat like a kiddo who seriously needs to pee.  I give subtle sidelong glances filled with doubt at our waitperson.

And then you know what happens?  Our food arrives and it's PERFECT!  I LOVE that part!

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Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Some Things Just Have to be Said

I had the pleasure of my big guy's company at the gym today.  Well, actually it was the "to" part and the "from" part...not the "during" part.  On the way home we chatted a bit.

Me:  "I love that you went with me today."

Big guy:  "Why do you ruin it by saying stuff like that?"

Me:  "OK, tell me this, what would the mom of your dreams say right now?"

Big guy:  "I don't know, just that we went."

Me:  "OK, going to the gym was cool."

Silence as we drove for a few minutes.

Me:  "I really am glad you came with me today."

Big guy:  "Mom, stop talking."

Uh, yeah, about that...see, the thing is, kid, I think that you do like it way deep down, so I'm gonna keep telling you I love being with you.  So deal, darlin'.

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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Everybody was Kung Fu Fightin'...

OK, well not everybody.  Actually just my little dude.  And you know what he did?  That guy tried one of his fancy kick moves on me.  And you know what happened?  Well, just as he was about to make contact with my hind quarters, one of our very mean dining room chairs jumped out and smacked him on the foot.

Instant karma is such a bear.


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Monday, August 13, 2012

The Early Bird Catches the...

You know, it's really awesome when you make it to the grocery store and back home again, all by 8:30 AM.  REALLY awesome!  And you know what makes it even more awesome?

Me:  "Guess what I saw on the way to the store this morning."

Little guy:  "What?"

Me:  "I saw a full grown man walking down the street with a Scooby Doo Mystery Machine lunchbox."

Little guy:  "That's AWESOME!!!"

Me:  "I know, right?"

(brief pause for reflection on the awesomeness of it all)

Me:  "Know what else I saw?"

Little guy:  "What?"

Me:  "A lady out for a jog still wearing her P.J.s."

Little guy: "I don't wear pajamas."

Me:  "Then best you don't put your running shoes on and head out first thing in the morning, eh?"

Little guy:  "You're so weird, mom."

Go ahead, catch the worm and "like" my blog on facebook!!!

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Accidental, On Purpose Twinkies

I was nagging my boys to get ready this afternoon.  We were going to go help Dave break down a set-up.  Little guy got all dressed and ready first.  Big guy was taking his sweet time.  But, with time to spare, my big guy appeared, lookin' mighty spiffy.  Only boys were both wearing the exact same outfit!  (Dave and I came across a great sale on boys shorts, so we loaded the boys up with pretty much the same pairs of shorts.)  Whoda thought they'd manage to pick the same new shorts on the same day, and the same old shirts on the same day?

Well, all I could think was, "Freakin' adorable!!!"

Little guy thought it was absolutely hilarious.  Big guy thought it was the stupidest thing ever.

Big guy:  "You have to change."

Little guy:  "No, I don't.  I had this on first."

Big guy:  "Yeah, but I had this outfit on before I took a shower."

Little guy:  "No, you didn't."

Me:  "Smile, I want to take a picture of you guys."

OK, the freaky thing is, they let me take it!  Course I had to swear all kinds of things, like I'd not put it on my blog or facebook, but I have it!  That's what matters, right?

So, little guy changed shorts and off we went.  He was unusually quiet in the back seat (always a sign of trouble, for sure).  I sneaked a quick glance back there, and guess what...that little dude was in his boxers, his changed-into shorts beside him, and his matchy-match shorts around his ankles, about to be pulled up.  Sneaky little toot.  I kept my mouth shut because, after all, I thought what he was doing was pretty awesome.

We arrived at our destination, got out of the car, made it almost to the entrance, when little dude's giggles could no longer be overlooked by big guy, and, yes, he saw the matching shorts.  Commence temper tantrum (in seventeen-year-old style, of course), little guy ran back to the car to change, and we arrived just in time to help Dave with the breakdown.


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Saturday, August 11, 2012

Mall Trippin'

As a rule, I hate the mall.  Yes, the crowds do drive me nuts a bit, but I can handle that.  Yes, the slap-you-in-the-face consumerism is a little bit unnerving, but, again, I can work through it.  For me, it's the fact that I have no internal navigation system, and that I'm utterly and completely lost the entire time, that makes me despise the experience.  But, today I found the perfect solution!

Yes, I dragged my kid and a friend of his to the mall.  Now, of course I had to agree that we would not hang out together while in the mall.  I was good with that.  Secret is, I didn't really want to hang out with them either.

So, here's the deal I arranged with them: 

1. They had to get me to the door of first I could buy a new helmet (the little guy absconded with mine recently when he discovered that he liked mine better than his own).

2. They would go do their own thing until I contacted them after I finished doing whatever other shopping I wanted to do.

3. They would help me remember where I parked the car.

This was win-win for all of us!  They had $10 to go spend on pretzels, soda, or anything else they wanted.  They had mom-free freedom for a couple of hours.

So, here's what actually happened:

1. They got me to the door of Zumiez.

2. I meandered around the mall (independently!) doing whatever shopping I wanted to do.

3. Little guy called me at least five times to check on me.

4. They showed up where I was at least three times.

5. They had no idea what entrance we had come in.  (I did!)

6. They had no idea where the car was parked.  (I did!)

Yup, I think I've kind of decided I rather like going to the mall...with my entourage, of course.

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Friday, August 10, 2012

If it looks like vomit, tastes like vomit...well, I probably made it.

I'm writing what I suppose you could consider a P.S.A.  Yup, a Public Service Announcement.  I'm doing this so that no one will ever...EVER...make the same mistake I did this morning.

OK, so here's what started it all.  I'm about to return to work (I've got a lovely teaching gig), and every day, no matter what or how much I eat for breakfast, I'm starving by about 9:00 AM.  Lunch?  Well, it's later than that.  So, every year I try to come up with some solution to my hunger issue as there's no way I can teach and be hungry.  No way.  Last year my bright idea was a snack of hard boiled eggs (this after eating a rather large breakfast at home first).  I'd boil them at home, bring them to work, eat them just before the bell rang, and, frankly, I was good to go.  Until I realized that I made my classroom smell like a fart festival had occurred...every day.  I decided to veto the egg idea much to the happiness of coworkers and students alike.

So, this year I thought, smoothies!  Yeah, that'd work.  I could eat my normal big breakfast, make a smoothie at home, then sip on it during the first hour or so of school.  Problem solved!  Except it wasn't.  I made one last night as an experiment.  Fruit, yogurt, a little juice.  It was a snap.  Except for the fact that I got such a sugar rush off of it that I was a little shaky one third of the way through the drink.  I figured it was time for a little Google action.  I searched for homemade smoothie recipes that weren't made from powders and such.  I found a site!  I was so excited.  Course they mentioned using raw egg whites (the pasteurized form) as a great source of protein.  Bleck!  I simply cannot go there.  But another idea sounded just right.  In fact it was pretty much what I love to eat every day for breakfast, only in smoothie form.

This morning I went to work.  I put the following in the blender:

- cooked steel cut oats (yummy!)
- half of a banana (yummy!)
- plain Greek yogurt (yummy!)
- natural peanut butter (yummy!)
- rice give it that liquidy edge (yummy!)

Well, you know what happened?  I used a bunch of yummy stuff and created a concoction that resembled vomit.  I'm talking visually and taste-wise.

I forced myself to drink some thinking, "Surely this will grow on me."  After drinking what I was sure was at least half of it, I looked in the glass and I had only made it go down about half an inch.  You know what I said then?  "I don't have to drink this!"

I poured it down the drain, apologized to the garbage disposal, and swished my mouth out pronto.

So, suggestions are welcome.  I'm not much of a fan of sweets, so the traditional smoothie or even powder mix isn't appealing to me.  Bring on the ideas, people!

Go ahead, mix it up, and "like" my blog on facebook!!

Thursday, August 9, 2012

I Believe I Can Fly

There it was, coming toward us, the most perfect, amazing car ever!  A beautiful pink Jeep...wowza!

Dave:  "It's the perfect car for you."

Me:  "And look, it has wings."  Seriously, it had wings attached to it.  "Just like a maxi pad."

Dave:  "Maxi pads have wings?"  The guy's super power is tuning out television ads for feminine products, for sure!

Me:  "Yes."

Dave:  "Gross."

I want that Jeep!  It would totally make that little monthly issue a no biggie thang.

Take flight and "like" my blog on facebook!!

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Keepin' it Curly

I'm looking around the living room right now and I think there must be some official rule that the Parsons ladies must have curly hair.




Now, I think we ladies can go one better.  Maybe asymmetrical haircuts, perhaps a dash of color.  I'll start with the dawgs and let you know how it goes.

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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

One is the Chasiest Number

As a rule, I'm not a fan of leaf blowers.  Now, I love what they do, I mean they are the only reason our house isn't completely full of leaves brought in by our dogs.  But, there have been many, many times when I've seen someone with one of those leaf blowers that are so heavy they have the motor strapped onto them like a backpack, and they're chasing around one darn leaf.  One.  I'd just think to myself, "Hey, why don't you just pick that leaf up with your hand, put it in your pocket, and be done with all that fuel wasting."

Well, the other day I was vacuuming our house because of the sudden crazy increase in sticky leaves ending up all over the place.  And what was I doing?  You guessed it...I was chasing one leaf around.  One.  Wasting all kinds of electricity in the process.  And did I pick up that darn leaf with my hand and put it in my pocket and be done with it?  No, I did not.  I pulled out the vacuum hose and showed that leaf who was boss.

Yeah, exuding hypocrisy...what can I say....

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Monday, August 6, 2012

Super Fruit

The other night little guy and I were walking our dogs.  We rounded a corner and a squirrel ran across the street in front of us, rustled around under a tree, grabbed a pomegranate in its mouth and ran up to the top branches of a tree that must have been at least 30 feet tall.  We just stood there watching, full of wonder and amazement.

I've got some pomegranate tea 'round here...gonna brew some up.  That blur you'll see in my front yard?  Best check up in the top of our Chinese Tallow, bet I'll be there!

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Sunday, August 5, 2012

It was a Swishin' and a Swipin'

Made a run to Target tonight.  All went well, found everything I was looking for, all that stuff.  As I was backing out of my spot I somehow managed to hit my wiper switch and my turn signal. 

"Swipe, click, swipe, click, swipe, click..."

I started driving down the parking lot lane trying to problem solve my dilemma.  I dared not take my eyes off the "road", so I ended up just trying stuff.  And, yeah, that meant that in addition to my wipers and my turn signal, I now had my rear wiper going as well.  I proceeded about a hundred feet, managed to turn my signal off (I do know where that switch is...after all, I've had my car for five years now), but every time I tried to get the wipers off I managed to squirt more liquid and speed up the wiping frequency.

"Swipe, squirt, swipe, squirt, swipe, squirt..."

So, what did this girl do?  You got it, I pulled over (safety first!) and thoroughly examined the switches.  They aren't nearly as user friendly and obvious as you'd think!  But I persevered and after a few tries, the only things running were the radio and the engine.  Yay! 

Yeah, who's a brilliant problem solver now, eh?

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Saturday, August 4, 2012

Down Yonder in the Briar Patch

Kids have hobbies or activities.  Those things guide much of the family's time.  It's all good stuff, but whew!  Our house?  Well...we've got karate, band, soccer, football, track, and rocketry.  Now, a lot of those the school takes on the brunt of the effort (thank you very much!), but karate and rocketry are all family stuff.  And, thankfully, my dad does the bulk of the rocketry.  Except, that is, for the retrieval part of launches.

Today Dave, the little guy, and I stomped around farm country looking for a rocket that the little dude had launched beautifully, its parachute deployed right on time, and then it proceeded to float in the wind far beyond the dreaded thicket (thankfully!).  Armed with GPS coordinates (well, at least coordinates from a bit before it actually touched down) we headed out over the river and through the woods, or at least through the fields and through a bunch more fields.  Did we think to bring our tennies?  Yes, we did.  Did we think to wear jeans on a 100° day?  Nope, sure didn't.  So, are you wondering what crop was planted?  I'll tell ya.  It was maize.  And is maize all soft and sweet?  Well, perhaps it is at some point.  But today's maize was a mix of new growth and old chopped plants.  And, let me tell you, old chopped maize plants are basically half inch diameter broken toothpicks sticking up at odd angles about shin high.

"Ouch!  Ooph!  Dang it!  Rackafratz!"  on and on and on through what I think would be better named The Briar Patch! 

But, by golly, we found that rocket!  Took way over an hour of searching, at least a hundred nicks and scratches on my lower legs (and on Dave's and Nicholas').  As we were driving home reflecting on the day's adventure, we all decided that it was a fabulous day!  But, you know what I think I earned?  I think I earned the title of "Rocketeer Mom".  Surely there's a bumper sticker to go with that.

I know, I know...I should be posting a photo of my little guy with his rocket.
But, no, I'm going for the "See how Awesome a Mom I am?" shot instead.

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Friday, August 3, 2012

Gunning for It

I remember when my kiddos were little.  The were so cute and sweet...I mean seriously, probably the cutest children ever.  But, as soon as they were able to grasp sticks, I swear they tried shooting with them.  Adorable factor went down several notches for sure.  We were a "no guns" family (still are), but no matter how deliberate we were in our avoidance of them seeing or experiencing violence, they still loved nothing more than shooting something...anything.  (I admit we have become quite lax about this as they've gotten older.)

So, today it was no surprise when I received a text from the little guy.

Little guy:  "Cab j please get an airspff gun"

OK, so obviously he's all thumbs, but if you read between the mistakes, the little dude is hoping for permission to get an airsoft gun.

I ignored his text because, well, I just wasn't ready to deal with it, particularly via text.  So, of course I decided to just pretend he never sent it and hope he forgot all about it.  Yeah, right.

In the car this afternoon.

Little guy:  "So can I get an airsoft gun?"

Me:  "But what if it's a gateway gun?"

Little guy:  "I don't want to kill animals or people.  I just want to shoot my friends."

Me:  "Go talk to dad about this."

Sure I wimped out, sure I avoided again.  I'm good with both of those things.

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Thursday, August 2, 2012

Scout's Gone Green

Our dog, Scout, is basically the fuzzy part of Velcro.  There's this tree that leans over our back yard that is dropping its leaves like mad.  Well, the leaves are the stickiest, sappiest leaves ever.  Every time Scout heads to the back yard to go potty, she comes back in with leaves all over her.  They're on her sides, back, legs, face, and especially her feet.  I mean seriously, she comes in wearing leaf shoes. The girl be stylin'!

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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Leaving his Mark

I finally put on my new sneakers today.  They came in the mail several weeks ago, but they've been happily sitting on my shoe shelf since then.  Well, today was the big day!  I think I love them so much I just might have to name them.  When I look down at them from above (which isn't far, I'm only about five feet tall) they look like the sneakers my kids wore when they were wee ones.  Big white rubber toe and widely spaced eyelets for fat white shoelaces.  I managed to walk around outside to a neighbor's house, hang the laundry on the line, go grocery shopping, cook dinner AND keep everything that was white, white.

Little guy:  "Did you get new shoes mom?" he very sweetly asked after he placed his big toe on the rubber toe of my new right shoe.

Let me pause here to say that this kid pretty much never, NEVER, wears shoes in the summer...and he runs around in the street...and he doesn't really ever wash them thoroughly during his daily bathing routine.

Me:  "Hey, aaaaaagh!" as I hastily retracted my foot, leaving the big black toe print clearly visible on the once pristine rubber.

Little guy:  "Oh, sorry mom.  Chill, it's just a shoe."

He's right.  OK, now I can breathe.  It's rather like when you have a new car.  That first ding is sort of a relief...sort of.

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