Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Short People

You know what's awesome?  What's awesome is when you are absolutely, positively the shortest one in the family...and your kids come up to you and affectionately call you "shorty"...and you don't even care if they smell like stinky, funky little men because you're getting a delicious side hug...and you rejoice in the fact that they occasionally smell like Axe (because it is slightly better than B.O.)...and you are so thankful that the song "Short People" never, EVER plays on the radio any more as surely if it did, it's all you'd be hearing.  All in all, I have to say that being the shortest one in the family pretty much rocks.  And, besides, being short gives you an automatic placement in the "cute" category, right?  Right?!?!  Countin' on it!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Kiddo Bonus

You know when your kid is in the early elementary school grades, and you're waiting outside their classroom at the end of the day, and you're sizing up all the other moms and dads because you know, you KNOW your kiddo is going to end up spending time at some of their homes, and you're making your own decisions about which of the kids you're going to end up encouraging your kid to hang out with just because you think their parent(s) are uber interesting/creative/cool/awesome?  OK, let me take a deep breath, that sentence was WAY to long.  Whew!  Well, I do!  And, let me tell you, I nailed it!  With both of my children I went through this informal filtering process and I tell you what, I have two groups of parent friends that so totally rock.  Tonight I had the absolute pleasure of hanging with three of my little guy's friends' moms (we met about 8 years ago).  I felt surrounded by passion, empathy, brilliance, breath-taking beauty, self-reflection, and such a sense of "real" that we 40+ year old broads are getting a solid hang of.  I'm so very glad I had children for so, so many reasons, but these friendships are super high among them.  Thanks, kiddos!

Here we are, lovely ladies...
hanging out at our round table, sipping our bevs.  Love!

Monday, February 27, 2012

Yeah, I can totally see it.

I had the great luck this morning of rounding a corner just as a gorgeous white standard poodle appeared with its owner.  You know, of course, how much I LOVE big white standard poodles!  I was all smiley happy as I neared it...and...amazing wonder of wonders, it was wearing a teeny tiny black hat!  Oh, my goodness, my day was made!!!  I kept going, barely able to focus on the driving that was required at that moment.  Well...I'll have you know it stuck with me ALL DAY LONG.  And, if I saw you today you better believe that I pictured YOU with a teeny tiny black hat on top of your head, too.  Awesome, right?  Bliss....

Sunday, February 26, 2012

To Infinty and Beyond!

Fresh off another fabulous day of shooting rockets into the sky!

You know what rocketry is to my family?  Well, it's the most awesome way in the world to get my kid excited about science, my little guy and his grandpa get to be BFFs, and every once in a while, things blow up.  It's awesome.

HUGE bonus this time, though.  I drove my dad and the little guy out of town and back for the event.  Lots of talk about the launch plans on the way there, but on the way back I finally got the whole scoop on what my dad was up to all those days of my childhood when he left early in the morning to go to work and then always came home in plenty of time to help us with homework, instrument practice, and general nagging to do chores, of course.  It's funny, as kids we really don't necessarily know what our parents do to bring the bucks home.  What do I remember?  I remember hanging out at UT as a wee one, drawing on HUGE chalk boards, and all those stairs that had to be navigated around campus that I'd revisit 15 years later when I began attending college.  With the office jobs he had, I only remember the company parties, the getting VERY tipsy once at a bar-b-que when I snagged my dad's Coors (his brand of choice in the 70s) and my ensuing personality change...freakishly introverted to WAY out of my box.  I also remember his super nice secretaries who, in retrospect, spoiled me rotten.  My dad's work history is awe-worthy in my eyes.  I won't go into the details, but it was a wonder to hear the path he took from being a physics professor at UT as a young man to a rocketry enthusiast in his retirement.  I know it seems like it could've been a direct path, but he took the creative way around. 

My kids, on the other hand, are all in my and Dave's work life.  They've both helped in my classroom while I taught and Dave has hired them to help on many set-ups.  And, so far, they've maintained their sobriety and are seriously lacking in the spoiled department.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Ain't Life Grand

Driving in the car today with my little guy.  I'm rambling on as I do when we're together.  I start reflecting on just how very lucky we are. 

Me:  "We have a life full of love and beauty."

Little guy:  "Uh huh."

Me:  "You get to go hang out with grandpa and shoot rockets."

Little guy:  "Uh huh."

Me:  "I get to paint every day."

Little guy:  "Uh huh."

Me:  "Gosh, we are so lucky!"

Little guy:  "Uh huh."

Me:  "I'm so happy."

Little guy:  "That's enough of that," as he reaches for the radio knob.  "Boom...boom...boom"

Me:  "We're so lucky we even get to listen to hip-hop."

Little guy:  Eyes roll.

Yeah, he heard me.  He knows his life is pretty darn grand.  And, gosh, I actually got five sentences out before I lost him.  Seriously a new record.

Friday, February 24, 2012

We've Gone Batty

I don't even remember how it came up.  Somehow Dave and I started talking about my artwork on stuff and how it would TOTALLY work on underwear.  No, we weren't drinking...we never drink.  Can't blame that.  Anyway, we focused in on underwear with my Congress Avenue Bats picture on them.  And, gosh, what's underwear without some message on it, right?  Brilliant, and terribly clever people that we are, we came up with these (feel free to applaud as you read them):

"Gone Batty"
"I'm guano get you!"
"Baby's got Bat"
"Sonar Powered"

Tag line to get people to buy them?  "You're guano want some of these!!"

Yeah, we're pretty awesome....

Thursday, February 23, 2012

On Being Useful

You know, when we think of our children, we want them to be happy in life, we want them to do what they love, we want them to have amazing relationships, and we want them to think of their lives as having some point, some usefulness.

Well, my parents must be SO proud of me!  Yes, I'm happy, yes I do what I love both in work and play, yes I have amazing relationships, AND, as of now, I find I'm fulfilling the usefulness piece as well.  How did I find out?  I bet you're wondering.  Here's how it went.

In the process of making my bed I found a crumpled up piece of paper.  Hmmmmmm.

Turns out it was a ZAP (a thing teachers give kids when they don't turn something in on time - Zeros Are Prohibited).

Me:  "What's this?"

Little guy:  "Oh, I found that in the library book I checked out.  It's not mine."

Me:  "OK, so why was it in my bed?"

Little guy:  "Well, after you fall asleep I always put my bookmark on you.  You're useful mom."

Well, there ya go!  Yes siree bobbers, this girl is USEFUL!

(So what if it's in a bedside table kind of's awesome!)

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Did ya hear the one about the blond?

Did ya hear the one about the blond who went into the hardware store?  Well, the blond entered the store and was met by a young man (early 20s-ish) who said, "You look really nice!"

The blond thanked him kindly and said, "Gosh, you guys are so much younger than the fellas who usually work here."

To which to other young man said, "And you look and smell a lot better than our usual customers."

OK, OK, the blond was me.  And, yes, they made this 44 year old broad's day!

This design available on shirts/bags/mugs/cards and more:  Pink Flowers with a Blue Butterfly

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Full Circle

Watching my little guy perform tonight in his middle school band in preparation for an upcoming UIL competition.  I'm washed with relief as I watch him up there happily playing his little heart out.  It's not relief due to any performance anxiety or anything like that.  It much deeper than that, and really has nothing at all to do with him.  It's deep seeded funk on my end, about 31 year old funk.  When I was in 7th grade I was in band, too.  I even played the same instrument that he does...the exact one, in fact.  I've held on to that sucker all these years!  Anyway, at my kiddo's age I was mercilessly bullied by certain kids in the band.  My only crime was having mad skills on my horn (I was pretty darn fantastic, for real, I was).  Well, that and being a total pimply little dork.  I also had the bad luck of having a band director who was in her first year of teaching and chose not to advocate for me though the knew of the bullying I was on the receiving end of.

I have to admit that over the years I've worried about my own kiddos getting through their childhoods as unscathed by bullying as possible.  And, I'm happy to say that to date, they are unscathed.  I've also thought of my own bullies over the years, wondered what their lives are like, if they have children of their own, if perhaps they've ever given that quiet little 7th grade girl a second thought of regret.  I can't really say I hope so...what I do hope is that their own children have been unscathed by bullying.  This is my wish for their little ones.  I hope it comes true.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Silence is Golden

I suppose that's true, unless you're trying to win an argument with your 16 year old like I was tonight.  I had the rare pleasure of his company on a trip to HEB.  One of the things I remembered on the way that we needed to add to the list was "whole wheat flour".  I pronounced it "wheat" with the "h" decidedly making a sound, none of that silly silent know, all backward and such as it should be, "huh-weet".  My big guy and I argued back and forth all the way there about whether the "h" made its mark or not.

"Google it!" I implored.  I couldn't, of course, because I was driving and all.  He didn't feel like it for whatever ("huh-wot-ever") reason.  I decided it was appropriate, during the interim when we did not have the evidence Google could provide, to go ahead and add the "huh" sound to ANY word that started with the letter "W".

You know, like:

"I need a drink of huh-water."

"Don't spill that, you'll get huh-wet."

"Huh-we're almost there."

Still no Googling....

We got out of the car and promptly forgot about the entire debate, did our shopping, and got back in the car.  Putting my seat belt on reminded me of the debate, of course.

"Huh-wen are you going to look it up?"

Clickety-clickety..."It says you can pronounce it both ways, mom."


Gosh, I have no idea why it's so hard for me to convince the kiddo to go shopping with me....

Sunday, February 19, 2012

My Nose Knows

I appear to have a deficit in the area of olifactory control.  Pretty much, without exception, every time I take the risk and smell something to see if it's dirty or clean, urine or just plain water, poop or mud, I manage to touch the offending object/spot with my nose.  Ack!  And, yes, it's most often dirty, uriney, and poopy.  Jeepers!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Never too Old to Learn Something

I learned a few things tonight.  First, I'm seriously not a fan of losing at cards.  OK, so that's not something new I learned, but it was definitely reinforced tonight.  Second, my awesome husband, who loves my blog, isn't necessarily appreciative of me jotting down his goofy jokes or behaviors when we're in the middle of a date (yes, I lost a card game on our date).  Third, if I'm stumped for something to write about, it's a really good thing I jotted something down from our date night anyway.

Following a discussion on our date about me not writing everything down, my husband came up with this brilliance (the one thing that was allowed to stay in my little notebook):

"It's like a sand castle...flowing out to sea."  Yes, my love, some things are awesome just between us and should, most definitely, be allowed to flow away peacefully and unnoted.  Got it! 

It was a fun date, by the way!  And he's funny, that man of mine.

Friday, February 17, 2012


I went in my big guy's room tonight.  He was sitting at his computer, both feet up on his desk, knees pointed outward.

Me:  "Oh, look at your legs, you look like a little frog!  So cute!"

Big guy:  "Go away, mom."

Me:  "No, really, you look like a frog...I love you!"

Big guy:  "You're irrihating, mom...I mean irritating."

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he meant "irrihating".

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hitting the Scales

The new tile in the bathroom is AWESOME.  I love, love, love it!  Only thing is, the scale seems to be reading a couple of pounds higher than normal.  I kept giving it opportunities to self correct and it just wouldn't.  I figured it must be sitting cattywampus due to some minimal tile unevenness.  Yeah, that must be it...yes, I can blame the apparent weight gain on Dave (he did the amazing installation, after all).  After I told him my theory, Dave claimed he could move the scale around in the bathroom to certain tiles and it was "accurate".  Well, I moved that sucker all around the room and, nope, it was still giving the same readout.  Dang!  I had to get to the bottom of this.  Tonight I was all excited as I weighed myself in the bathroom and noted the readout.  I picked that darn scale up and took it to the living room on the wood floor.  Same readout.  I'm starting to have a bad feeling here.  Well, gee, the wood could be uneven, too, right?  So I go to the kitchen where there's trusty 20 plus year old linoleum.  SAME readout.  I give the refrigerator a leer...yes, something in there was certainly to blame.

P.S. No, I don't think I'm fat...please don't get on me for that.
And, yes, I know this mermaid appears to be armless, 
but when I first sketched her they were there, 
and then I did her hair, and, well, you know how it goes....

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


You know you've reached a whole new level of neurotic when you almost...nearly...practically have a panic attack about what you're wearing to work that day.  So, here's how it started.  Last night I decided I'd wear a skirt today.  A VERY unusual move for me.  I shaved my legs and everything in preparation.  Got up this morning, put on a cute little jean skirt, black cowboy boots, long sleeved black T-shirt, and a cute little black blouse with white skulls and crossbones all over it (that most likely...probably...leaving very little room for doubt, violates teacher dress code), and pig tails to top it off.  OK, you'd think that the shirt's what I got worked up about, but no, I don't mind testing dress code limits.  Nothing on the frisky side, mind you, just on the outer extremities of OK side.  I look at myself in the mirror for a quick cute check.  Totally passable for a 44 year old broad.  As I'm about to walk to the front room to grab my back pack and head to work, I catch a glimpse of my knees.  MY KNEES!!  Enter panic attack.

"How will I crawl around the classroom?"  Because yes, my job requires some bit of crawling...every day, at some point.

"How will I sit criss-cross applesauce?" explanation needed.

"How will I work with a large group of three, four, and five-year-olds finger painting with RED paint and keep my cute outfit clean?"  What can I was the awesome plan for the day.

Before I consciously knew what was happening, boots were flying, blouse tossed, and on and on in a wild flurry of anxiety.

Blue jeans #1 pulled on (I have about ten pairs of jeans and I only wear two of them), blue T-shirt over my head, belt through the loops so my pants don't fall down when they bag out half-way through the day, feet shoved in my sandals, and WHEW!  I could breath again.  Off to work I went.

Epilogue:  I crawled, I sat criss-cross applesauce, I got red paint on my jeans...awesome!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Gittin' and Gottin'

OK, so tell me this.  When somebody does something to you and you come up with a really clever way to get them back that's the end, right?  I wish I could say that were true at my house, but no way, not 'round these parts.  For some reason the impulse to get someone back for the getting back is so overpowering that the evenness is soon unevened.  So, as Dave and I are often the most childish ones in the house, it was us doing this routine.  Luckily it's all playful and fun when it's us, not loud and potentially bruise causing as when it's the boys.  I can't even remember the specifics, but it was something along the lines of me doing something annoying/offensive (I've got this new lizard-looking lick with awesome sound effects I do all the time that is driving him bugger), him saying some insult in a redneckish way (he's apt to do this as he slips into that sort of talk quite easily), me playfully poking fun of him, him saying/doing something to get back at me as I'm protesting that it's not fair to get back for the get back.

He paused, assumed his best handsome scholarly look...which is pretty freakin' hot, "You don't git for the got?"

Um, yeah...can you see why I made fun of him in the first place?

Monday, February 13, 2012

Less is More

I received an email over the weekend from the principal of my little guy's school.  He was asking that parents refrain from sending large Valentine's Day goodies to their kids while they're at school, as any items too big will have to stay in the office till the end of the day.  Big things like a bunch of balloons, big stuffed animals, large bouquets of flowers.  WHO DOES THAT?!?!  I have never even come close to giving my kiddo something along those lines, and most definitely not DURING the school day.  I mean, really, my kids did well to get a heart I quickly cut out and threw a little glitter on.  Gosh....  Anyway, like Dave said to me, "I bet that Principal has to deal with all kinds of weird things."  Oy.

So, yes, Valentine's Day is upon us and I have nothing, NOTHING, for my kids or my husband.  And, I have no plans to change that.  Thankfully our entire family is on the same page.  Not that my kids would turn down some heart-shaped chocolates, but it would never occur to them to expect anything...and I know they totally do not want anything mom-made and blinged out with glitter.  As for Dave?  Well, every year one of us invariably says, "I'm not getting you anything, so don't get me anything either, deal?"  It was me this year.  Pretty sure he responded with something along the lines of, "And if one of us accidentally gets something for the other, like maybe one flower, it'll count as both of us giving each other something."  Deal!  I likes the way we thinks!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Spirit of Giving

So, this morning I'm videotaping our dogs tussling while our cat hid quietly in the closet, just his tail poking out revealing his presence.  I thought it was really adorable and my cat was really freakin' smart to stay out of the fray.  I move around getting a better view and, suddenly and quite alarmingly, one member of my family did something that I managed to catch on the recording.  The offending thing that occurred, and is now and forever preserved in multiple locations on multiple computers, is the stuff of great fodder for bribery.  Had I not been threatened with the revealing of my most secret offensive things (and, yeah, there are a number of them), I'd tell ya.  Now, while I can't share it with you, I hope you'll find comfort in the fact that every member of my little family has watched the video many, many times and, I must say, it does not get old.  As one of my family members said, "It just keeps on giving."  Ah...the spirit of generosity...clearly alive and well in the Parsons house.

 Photo of the action...sorry, no video allowed.  Can you find my cat?
Believe me, you don't want to be forced to know my offensive things....

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Completing each other?

After being together for 22 years now, Dave and I know each other so well that we totally finish each other's sentences, all the freakin' time.  One of us can start talking and the other one, more often than not, pipes up and completes the thought.  This is so amazing, so romantic, and so lovely that it leaves only the tiniest space open for improvement...yes, if only we were able to actually complete the other's sentence the direction they were going that would, indeed, be an improvement.  Yeah, that's so not what we do.  I'd like to think I'm more accurate that Dave is, after all I've had years of practice interpreting his "thingymadoodle", "whatsit", and "shizzynizzle" usage.  I actually go for accuracy, missing most of the time, but Dave considers it an opportunity to be creative (annoying?  inappropriate?  set ups for "that's what she said"?).  Yup, we complete each other...there's no doubt.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Touchy Feely

I don't like accidentally touching a dead cockroach. I don't like touching one on purpose, either, but I really don't like doing it when I'm not intending to. I suppose accidentally touching a live one is, perhaps, worse, but at least the live one scurries away making the touch encounter brief. The dead one lets you go on blindly touching it as you silently wonder what the heck that thing in the bottom of the dishwasher detergent packet bin is. Ew...shudder...bleck!  Seriously not a fan.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Silence is Deafening

Oh, no...say it ain't so...I think I'm getting sick!  What am I doing to fight this, you ask?  Drinking hot tea, going to go to bed early, and most importantly, stopping talking because every utterance imposes such agony on my throat that I consider screaming.  Except I won't because I'm not talking and screaming is a form of talking, right?  This is a vicious circle I don't want to partake in.  So as I sit her pondering the arrangements for my personal pity party, I'm finding myself thinking that my family is TOTALLY going to dig this.  No mom nags, zip, nada!  I can just imagine their smiling faces.  Awesome because as you know, I do so love to make my family happy.  I really, really do!  You don't believe me, but seriously, really, I do!

My little guy drew a lovely red flower when he was in elementary school.
We had it printed on coasters and we love them!
This is my version of that lovely red flower of his.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

My Lucky Guys

Every once in a while I'm reminded of how lucky my kids are to have me and Dave as parents.  I don't say this to pat myself on the back or anything like that.  After all, my boys have only fleeting thoughts of being fortunate in this way and, for the most part, think they're pretty screwed in this department.  Consider the feedback we get from them when we dole out even the lightest of consequences.

"Are you serious?!?!"

"You have a problem!"

"You have issues!"

"You're the worst mother/father in the world!"

"Anger management issues!"


"I hate you!" (to which I always respond with "I know you love me"...after all, I learned something from Terms of Endearment.)

I'm good with all of that.  The truth is I don't really want them to think about the fact that there are less qualified parents out there than we are.  I'm confident that when they reflect back on their childhoods they'll remember it as quirky, happy, and decidedly "interesting".  This works for me.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Happy Birthday, my Lovely Friend

On May 23, 2005, a most amazing creature entered my life.  I have her son to thank for finally bringing us together...I'm not one to give much thought to destiny, but this lovely lady and I had led parallel lives for many, many years, and it was simply nutty that we hadn't connected before.  I was her kiddo's teacher for two amazing years and during that time I fell for her in that "We must be friends" kind of way.  As I try to maintain some professionalism in my job as a teacher, I held those feelings at bay...until the day after I was, sadly (because you see, her kiddo totally rocks and I love him!), no longer her kiddo's teacher.  And, yes, you guessed it, I was at her house the following day, shoes off, hangin' out, and sipping coffee from one of her lovely mugs.  Friendship on, lady, you're stuck with me! 

For four-and-a-half years now she's been my dear friend, my confidante, my fashion consultant (I seriously needed help...these days, after several years of training, I can almost shop by myself without making bad decisions), my playmate, my cheerleader, my inspiration, and someone I know, without fail, has my back.  She's shown me that magic is alive and well in this world of ours...she has connections, you know...and she shares with a generous heart of gold (I'm betting it's made of gold fairy dust).

I love you, my dear friend.  My life and all those whose lives you touch are so much more vibrant and delicious because of your presence.  Here is my flower for you on this day we celebrate the wonder that you are.  Big hugs, darlin'!

For Suvi

Monday, February 6, 2012

Hazel's Surprise

Oh my goodness, it's so much fun seeing the world through the eyes of a puppy.  It's all new and totally exciting!

Stinky socks, soft and yummy, yay!

Reading glasses, crunchy, yay!

Remote control knocked to the floor by my tail, kapow, yay!

Scout's fluffy tail wagging in my face, wiggly, yay!

My people stepping out of the shower all drippy, slurpy, yay!

A fart jettisoning out my butt, scary, who poked me back there?!?!

The nerve!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Abandonment Issues

Yes, it's official, I have abandonment issues.  Who knew a trip to Costco would bring out such intense feelings?  Dave and I went shopping and, as we left the kids home, it's an assumed date, right?  So, I'm expecting a lovely stroll through the aisles, light conversation about anything but our kids.  But, no.  I knew something was awry when we entered the parking lot and had to park in a galaxy far, far away.  We made the trek to the front entrance and there were only two carts left...TWO!  With cart in hand, we made our way in and b-lined it to the electronics department (we'd agreed to go in halvesies with the big guy on a hard drive).  First thing on our list crossed off, check!  Dave left to find the bathroom and I headed to the food section.  Plan was he'd catch up to me when he was done.'s where it all fell apart.

You see, Costco is basically a free buffet on the weekends.  Hair and beard-netted folks seduce you with sizzling sausage, delicious spreads, crunchy snacks, and on and on.  Dave had made the cardinal shopping mistake...going grocery shopping on an empty stomach.

Did that guy catch up to me as I wandered up and down crowded aisle after crowded aisle?  Rather than a companion, I have to say he was more of an annoying little gray haired gnat that kept doing fly by after fly by, barely slowing down to say he'd sighted yet another sample on the horizon before he buzzed off again.

OK, OK, I can't really fault him too much.  Had I been hungry and had there not been an unusually high number of vitamin K-containing samples, I probably would've joined him.  But, then I wouldn't have had this to write about and I'd have to resort to the story about my puppy's personal problem...savin' it for tomorrow.

Fun with pencil.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

What's that smell?

My sweet little guy ran to me this morning and gave me the best hug...well, the beginnings of one, anyway.

Little guy, backing away abruptly:  "Mom, you stink!"

Me:  "Me?  What?!?!"

Little guy:  "You stink."

I pull my hair to my nose and give a sniff.  No.  I check my pits.  No.

Me (following him around the house):  "Help me figure this out.  I have to go places today."

I get him to smell my hair and shirt on my shoulder (under duress, of course).  Nope, no foulness detected.  He hugs me again to see if he still smells it.

Little guy:  "Something stinks, mom."

Me:  "Could it possibly be your armpits?"

He takes a deep whiff..."Oh."

Mystery solved.

Friday, February 3, 2012


Been getting rid of old emails like they're naive victims in a bloody slasher movie.  Wiping out entire threads, deleting everything from particular people, hiding them away in folders, all the while snarling, "You're dead to me!"  OK, so not so dramatic, but I've cleared/organized hundreds of emails from my three (ridiculous!) email servers.  I feel lighter somehow.  Wondering if the universe will detect the void and fill it up...just like when I get rid of a bunch of clothes I somehow end up thrifting the next day...perhaps my inboxes will have malfunctioning spam filters and emails for erectile dysfunction and breast augmentation will flood in.  Oy, just save the universe the trouble, my friends, and shoot me some emails.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Ah, Pavlov...Perhaps

I vaguely remember studying Pavlov in high school and know, about 25 years ago-ish.  I remember something about dogs slobbering being associated with different stimuli.  I think, anyway.  So, I'm wondering if my old girl, Scout, is having a Pavlovian response.  To me!  For a week now I've been calling her to me in the morning and evening so I could open her huge mouth full of very sharp teeth, and risk my writing and drawing hand by shoving a large antibiotic horse pill down her throat.  Let me preface this by saying that I tried hiding said horse pill in a huge variety of foods and every time she managed to eat the yummy food and avoid the nasty pill.  So, shoving it down her throat is the only option I have left.  Please know that I go through all this because I love her dearly.  Back to my story...after doing this twice a day for several days her behavior changed.  I'd call her name, she'd run away instead of toward me, I'd approach her and she'd dry heave and hock up something highly undesirable.  Perhaps she knew what I was up to and had a conscious avoidance plan.  Or...was it an involuntary Pavlovian response.  You tell me.  Either way, my old girl is finding out that being nasty does not get her out of it.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

A Tribute to Thong Man

Ah, that deliciously awkward moment when Thong Man rides his bike by you, your husband, and your thirteen-year-old.  Awesome....

For those of you who don't know Thong Man, let me introduce you.  Thong Man is less the name of an individual, and more the name of a group of out-there dudes.  Thong Man can bee seen at Barton Springs Pool, walking around, swimming, and sun bathing, and, of course, he's wearing only a thong swimsuit (last I saw him it had a conveniently located zipper in the front).  Thong Man can also be seen riding his bike down the sides of busy streets and on the hike and bike trail.  Thong Man is old and sporting a beer belly and Thong Man is middle-age and fit.  Thong Man has a very nice all-over tan.  Austin is home to multiple Thong Men, and I admit I think they pretty much rock. 

Today as we waited for my big guy after school, Thong Man rode by.

Little dude:  "Ooooohhh, I just threw up a little in my mouth!  Why would he do that?!?!"

Dave:  "I think his thong is getting smaller."

Me, thinking silently:  "I wonder if he just rode by my big guy giving him a full rear view."

I'm grateful for all of the Thong Men, I must say.  I appreciate their guts...their absolute lack of shame or worry about others' negative responses.  I love, love, love watching people react as they pass by (a "rear" cam on the back of the bicycle would make a great short film).  Austin wouldn't be nearly so wonderfully weird without them. 

Long live Thong Man!