Me: "Stop putting your freezing cold toes on my legs!" The little toot was scooching the leg of my sweat pants up so he could rob my ankles of their warmth.
Little guy: "But you're so warm!"
Little guy: "Mom! You farted!"
Me: "No, I didn't."
Little guy: "Well, something rumbled."
Me: <giving him the stink eye...the only stink I had given him>
Little guy: "Oh, never mind. My phone was on vibrate, I just got a text."
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