Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Hair, Thair, and Everywhair

The other day I got my hair cut/trimmed/whatever you want to call it.  I'm sure for most folks it's not really a big deal, but this cheap girl gets her hair cut twice a year...max.  Really I have to have it looking bad before I'll do anything about it.  Split ends have to be hanging out on my split ends, the left side of my head has to have significantly longer hair than the right (ya see, my hair is quirky, and one side grows faster than the other...weirdness), and I have to start trying on hats and bandanas to leave the house with my dignity in tact.

So I'm sure you're thinking, "So, shut up and go get your hair cut already."  But you see, you don't know my hair.  It's a brain eavesdropper and it hears what I'm thinking and you'd better bet that as soon as I decide to get it cut I have fabulous hair day after fabulous hair day.  Well, that is until it wears itself out from all the effort and returns to a state of anarchy.

So, back to my hair cut, because after all, I did make the appointment, and I did go.  Here's my pattern.

1 - Grow it out as long as I can directions:  "Cut the tiniest amount off that you have to so I can barely tell it's been cut."

2 - I've forgotten that I don't actually like having bangs directions:  "I want bangs...do you think I'll look good with bangs...let's go for bangs."

3 - I'm sick of my crazy curls directions:  "I'm letting my layers grow out so my curls won't drive me so nuts, so barely trim the layered part, but lop an inch or two off the very bottom so the rest can catch up."

4 - I don't want to have to do anything to my hair at all, I want it to style itself directions:  "Let's go for layers...everywhere!"

Lather, rinse, repeat....

So, I was feelin' number four somethin' serious the morning I went to the salon.  I felt like I was attending a L. H. A. meeting.  You know, Lazy Hair Anonymous. 

The stylist smiled really big-like.  I'm convinced that they love BIG changes, opportunities to truly sculpt a piece of art.  She went to work, hair flying this way and that, channeling her inner Edward Scissorhands.  She turned me to the mirror she was done.  And, there I was, "Curly Top Kali".

Me:  "Awesome, this girl's got her Big Texas Hair back!"

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