Sunday, July 14, 2013

What to do when a bird poos on you....

You know how it is when you've been hanging out with a bunch of folks and as soon as you leave the party, get in your car, and check your teeth/nose (We all do that, right?)...and you see a HUGE hunk of spinach between your two front teeth or a booger the size of a BOULDER dangling out of your nose?  OK, well this story is just like that...kind of.

I was at a lovely celebratory gathering yesterday.  Many people were there and many photos were taken, that I then put on facebook as that's the thing to do, right?  Well, late last night when I was looking at the pics I saw a bit of a speck of something on the back of my skirt.  Right cheekish area, to be specific.  I zoomed in and lo and behold, there was a bird poo...right there...plain as day!  Rather a funky looking pixelated bird poo to be exact.

I immediately went through the five stages of having a bird poo on you.

1. Denial - "What?  No way.  Surely I would've noticed the splat impact and the accompanying moisture.  Surely!"

2. Anger - "This is totally not OK!  And I was wearing a super cute dress!  And what about all those people that I thought were my friends not even telling me?!?!"

3. Bargaining - "I'll get my husband to Photoshop this and we'll go on with life pretending this never, ever happened.  OK?"

4. Depression - "I'm embarrassed and, quite frankly, feeling totally and completely friendless...and quite sure that they're all laughing at 'bird poo girl'."

5. Acceptance - "Ah, well, so what.  Everyone gets pooed on at one time or another...and I hear it's supposed to be good luck!"

And then this morning as I was putting laundry into my washer I came across the fouled garment.  I put it right-side out, turned it over so I could see the back, and saw the very spot the bird poo had landed.

...only all that was there was a two inch piece of thick white thread.  Very clever white thread at that.  Fabulously clever white thread with masquerading as pixelated bird poo super powers.

I have a new respect for thread, people.

Thanks for "liking" my blog posts!!

No comments:

Post a Comment