I was at a lovely celebratory gathering yesterday. Many people were there and many photos were taken, that I then put on facebook as that's the thing to do, right? Well, late last night when I was looking at the pics I saw a bit of a speck of something on the back of my skirt. Right cheekish area, to be specific. I zoomed in and lo and behold, there was a bird poo...right there...plain as day! Rather a funky looking pixelated bird poo to be exact.
I immediately went through the five stages of having a bird poo on you.
1. Denial - "What? No way. Surely I would've noticed the splat impact and the accompanying moisture. Surely!"
2. Anger - "This is totally not OK! And I was wearing a super cute dress! And what about all those people that I thought were my friends not even telling me?!?!"
3. Bargaining - "I'll get my husband to Photoshop this and we'll go on with life pretending this never, ever happened. OK?"
4. Depression - "I'm embarrassed and, quite frankly, feeling totally and completely friendless...and quite sure that they're all laughing at 'bird poo girl'."
5. Acceptance - "Ah, well, so what. Everyone gets pooed on at one time or another...and I hear it's supposed to be good luck!"
And then this morning as I was putting laundry into my washer I came across the fouled garment. I put it right-side out, turned it over so I could see the back, and saw the very spot the bird poo had landed.
...only all that was there was a two inch piece of thick white thread. Very clever white thread at that. Fabulously clever white thread with masquerading as pixelated bird poo super powers.
I have a new respect for thread, people.
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