Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Dance Like there's no one Watching

After over 20 years, I finally know the signs.  The subtle twitching of his legs, the emerging sway of his hips, the barely noticeable hop in his step...yes, David is about to start dancing.  Now, this is all fine and good when we're at home (for me, anyway, for the boys, it's beyond embarrassing even though there's no one around to see).  But when we're in public, it's my cue to go into "single chick out shopping on her own" mode.

Tonight Dave and I meandered around Bed, Bath, and Beyond looking for some new sheets.  The ones we have are so old that just the simple act of rolling over in bed was ripping them.  It was seriously time to go shopping.  So, we walked through the aisles, found the actual "bed" section of Bed, Bath, and Beyond after having gotten lost in the seriously overwhelming "beyond" part, finally chose some sheets, and started heading toward the register.  Now, I should stop here to explain that Dave and I had each retrieved a 20% discount coupon to display on our phones at the time of purchase...after all we are clever, nerdy, and cheap.  My mom taught me the lie-about-being-related-and-use-multiple-coupons trick as a kid, so I was already in pre-"I don't know Dave" mode.

That's when his "I'm about to start dancing in public" twitches began.

Me:  "Oy."

I maneuvered myself a distance from Dave.  He, of course, detected what I was up to and moved back in my path.  We zigged and zagged all the way to the front, as he shook his groove thang, and got in line. 

Dave:  "My wife disappeared.  She doesn't like my Michael Jackson moves."  Yes, he's talking to the clerk, and, yes, I'm just three feet away.

Clerk:  "Oh..." and some small talk that I couldn't really make out.

They finish their transaction and it's my turn.

Me:  "I have a coupon, too.  And I'm his wife.  We're just trying to work the system."  Full mother would be so disappointed!

Clerk:  "Oh, I would've given you both discounts anyway."

We finish up, having managed to save 20% of a lot, and start toward the door. 

So, nice to find out that Dave and I can stay shopping, discounts, and in health...groovy!  And, yeah, I kind of have to admit that Dave's moves are even better than M.J.'s.  I'm just sayin'!  But please don't tell him.  It only encourages more of this behavior.

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